6 years

Feb. 14th, 2013 06:19 am
baronessekat: (rose)
6 years. Has it really been that long?

6 years since we signed the paperwork? Since we said it was time?

It is clearly burned in my memory of standing in the ICU with my sister and the minister as we said that it was time to let go and we'd be OK.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and want to ask you something, show you something, do something with you, wonder what you would think on a subject.

6 years since we got the call that you were gone.

I hope that wherever you are, you are at rest and happy.

It's been six years today and I miss you, Mom.
baronessekat: (rose)
Five years since we signed all the paperwork.

Five years since we told her it was OK.

Five years since we said goodbye

Five years since we sat waiting for the call.

Five years ago at 10:33 we got the call.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss her; that I don't think of something I'd like to ask her or tell her; wonder what she'd think.

Five years ago I lost my mother.

Five years that a piece of me has been lost and empty.
baronessekat: (rose)
She would have been 66 today. Hard to believe she's been gone a year now. I miss her everyday.

Happy Birthday mom. I hope you are happy where ever you are.

Mom, we miss you so very much
On every Mother’s Day;
And not just then, but every minute,
Since you went away.

You were the center of our lives
Before your soul passed on;
It’s just so hard for us to believe
That you are really gone.

But we celebrate the life you lived
And all the things you gave us;
Our wonderful memories, Mom, of you
Are the things that will comfort and save us.

Please think of us, as we think of you
With hearts so full of love;
We’re looking up at you, sweet Mom,
As you look at us from above.

By Joanna Fuchs
baronessekat: (quiet)
There are a great many things I would like to do this weekend.

Pack up what's left of the garage sale for either storage, freecycle, craigslist,charity or garbage. so I can take the tables down to return to [livejournal.com profile] apidae next weekend

Go carpet shopping for the master bedroom (I actually have more money than I thought. This is a good thing. Gives me wider options)

stain the windowsills in the master bedroom. (if time permits maybe even start painting that room as well)

See Pirates at the Drive In.

have fun tonight with friends and forget the issues at work (that will be another post - MAYBE)

But most of all this is Memorial Day weekend. mom )

Can I just say it's going to be a long 4 hours until the end of the day?

Progress

Apr. 22nd, 2007 07:34 pm
baronessekat: (house)
Was a long but productive weekend.

Saturday [livejournal.com profile] dicea and I got the ceiling in the kitchen painted with one and a half coats of paint (ran out hense the half), moved the fridge, and got the base coat of the wall treatment on the kitchen walls up. We also went over the walls in the guest bath with scrapers to get the remains of the wallpaper residue off the walls.

This morning I got up and headed to Home Depot, Lowes and Walmart to get advice on the walls in the guest bath... see when they put them up, the walls over the shower were never primed. There had been wall paper on it for the entire time we lived there (though mom changed the wall paper once). I asked if there was a special primer or something I should do to make sure that the drywall is sealed since its a bathroom.

All three told me a couple coats of thick good quality primer then paint should be fine.

So at walmart I got more ceiling paint for the kitchen and Kilz2 sealer/primer.

Did another coat of paint on the ceiling of the kitchen. I might end up doing one more. I'll see how it looks next weekend.

Then primed the guest bathroom and got the bottom half of the walls painted. Next step in the guest bath is painting the upper half of the walls and putting up the border. Of course I need to read up on how to do wallpapering of anykind. Mom always did the wallpapering in our family.

Today while painting in the guest bath I got to really missing Mom. She had always been a fan of the do-it-yourself, Trading Spaces, home dec shows on TV (yes it's genetic, deal with it) and had often commented that she wondered what other people would do with some of the rooms of the house, though she was REALLY picky about colors. I remember her once saying that it would be her luck to go on Trading Spaces or the like and end up getting an Orange Room. I always had to bite my tongue to not point out that the living room and dining room of the Doma had... ORANGE shag carpeting. But I digress. I was painting the walls in the guest room and thought how much I would love for mom to see what I've done. Though I think she would have hated the 1/2 bath.

I made another batch of gizzies today since I still had ingredients left and didn't want them to go stale. And hell... any excuse to make gizzies. Just have to figure out a suitable bribe for the Boo to give me to had over some. *wink*

Later in the week I'll head over to the Doma after work and pick up the place so it's not a total disaster for when [livejournal.com profile] deadised and [livejournal.com profile] visrose comes up next weekend for the great plastering experiment. Also need to put the money I pulled out of the bank aside so that I have it for next weekend... gonna send some friends out with it while I work in the kitchen with [livejournal.com profile] visrose to go buy me a lawnmower. I really should have borrowed a neighbor's this weekend but it can wait one more weekend. I will mow it next weekend regardless. I will not be "that neighbor" on the block.

For now, though I'm going to go shower and try to scrub off the primer that is all over me.

Moo
baronessekat: (death)
And mom had some.

I FINALLY got the bill for mom's time in the hospital before she died.

The original bill was:

$34,275.91

Yeah the number left me stunned.

Then I saw the "Your portion of the bill" part.

The estate only owes:

$375.00

I offically don't feel the right to complain anymore about paying for health insurance. Not when it will cover almost $34,000 in medical expenses.
baronessekat: (rose)
I got a thing in the mail today from Upstate New York Transplant Services (UNYTS).


Her corneas were used in the international transplant program and have already been transplanted. One into a person in Cambodia and another in Thailand.

Even in the end, mom helped others.

Whoa

Mar. 7th, 2007 01:54 pm
baronessekat: (blink)
So this morning, after a lazy sleep in I get up, get dressed, get the paperwork together that I need and head out for a Wednesday morning of dealing with money.

First stop... credit union to transfer the majority of mom's money out so I can pay bills this weekend. Go in, show all the legal stuff and say that I want to take all but a couple hundred out of her checking account. Woman types away and goes "Which one?"

I blink. "Um... how many does she have?"

"Two checking and one savings."

Double blink. We only knew of the one account, that I figured would just barely cover the expense of utilities and stuff on the house until I took over in July.

Upon investigation we don't need to worry about the annuity coming through to pay for the funeral. I currently now have in one of my accounts more than I make in a year.

I almost kissed the poor teller who couldn't understand why I broke into tears at her counter.

Called [livejournal.com profile] eternalmusings to tell her the good news.

Then drove directly to the funeral home and paid the bill.

After that I met with the Financial Advisor. Great guy. The downside was that he knew my father from dad's rotary days (hense why I knew to go to him in the first place) so I got to sit through an hour and a half of no shit war stories. All the while going "Um, Joe...I do still need to go to work today".

But he has the paperwork for the annuity and some money market account mom had and is going to take care of it for me and sis to get it transfered over to us then reinvested to make us some actual money. The upside to him having known dad and dad having done free PR for the guy's firm... if we do actually have to pay for the services it's going to be way discounted.

But for now I'm at work until 9pm.

Happy Wednesday.
baronessekat: (rose)
They also have an online guest book

http://www.legacy.com/BuffaloNews/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=86464934

eventually I will have the brain ability to actually write about the last three days.

But for now, thank you to all who came, all who would have but not for mother nature, and all who couldn't but sent their love and well wishes.

I am probably going to be away from posting for a bit until I get things settled for myself. Or I get bored at work.
baronessekat: (rose)
I'm too exhausted to give details. But we survived day one. It was nice and fairly low key, I think mostly due to weather.

Dicea was there for almost all of it and can give her impressions when she gets around to it.

Thank you to those that came out. It meant a great deal.

Tomorrow starts with meeting with our lawyer (who ironically was the ONLY person I walked up to tonight and said "I'm afraid I can't place your name at the moment". Oops.) then a little bit of down time before going back to the funeral home for calling hours day two and the service immediately after.

But for me, right now, I'm going to find a bit of food like stuff and go to bed.
baronessekat: (rose)
For those who would like to send a donation in my mother's name to her chosen charities
the particulars )

[livejournal.com profile] dicea has posted the details for the calling hours and memorial service. I still request no flowers. I have a small apartment with 3 cats. Keeping flowers and plants safe is difficult and mom would have much prefered the donations.

I can't begin to express the amount of awe I feel for the outpouring I have received both directly and through [livejournal.com profile] dicea. It amazes me the extent of the generosity that is out there in the world. I wish I could send individual thank yous to everyone but I do not have the resources nor the time to do each justice. Please know that I and my sister thank you from the bottoms of our hearts.

Rest

Feb. 14th, 2007 11:33 pm
baronessekat: (rose)
rest well )
baronessekat: (rose)
While I am really happy with the general staff at the hospital and all I'm starting to get frustrated.

I have lost count how many times I have been asked what medication she was on. Last night while talking to the transplantation coordinator she asked. I said I had already toldlike 12 people and saw a nurse write it down at least once while she talked to mom's PCP.

But there was NOTHING in her chart.

This morning I get a call and expect it to be word about her pulonology consult for whether or not she will survive past the one hour window for organ donation after she gets off the vent. No it's the morning call from the neurology team to say there is no change. The nurse says she saw nothing in the chart ordering the pulonology consult or anything from "units" (aka the transplant coordinator)

This whole ordeal between the hospital and still not being able to find mom's life insurance policy has had me wanting to scream at the top of my lungs the immortal words of Mairi

WHERE'S THE DOCUMENTATION?!?!?!?!

In a little bit I'mgoing to head back over to mom's to continue looking and make more phone calls to see if I can locate someone who is holding the policy.

Yes we called State Farm (where mine and my sister's is through), we called First colonial (that dad's was through), we have gone through 7 years worth of pay stubs and check books. NOTHING. But I am still not ready to give up hope.

I also need to talk to our lawyer today about how to we get the estate expidited and funds freed as quickly as possible in case we can't find the policy and have to pay the $7k out of pocket.
baronessekat: (rose)
1. Make sure you have a a health care proxy on life with your PCP or lawyer.
2. Make sure family/friends/etc know where the F your life insurance policy is. If you don't tell them, at least keep it in a fairly obvious place, such as strong box with your will and other important documents.

Number two is the current stress at the moment.

Terri and I went and had our meeting with the funeral director and have taken care of everything we can for now. The issue will be the roughly $7,000 that the funeral will cost. Normally you would have the life insurance take care of it. Mom swore up and down to me and Terri that she had life insurance. But we haven't been able to find the policy or any reference to one. We found the insurance policies on ourselves, and the references to the one our father had, but NOTHING for mom.

Unfortunately the funeral home will not wait for the estate to clear. If we can't find the insurance policy, we may have to go to our Aunt and Uncle and maybe paternal grandparents and ask for a loan to be paid back when the estate clears. Which can take up to 18 months according to the funeral director.

Let me tell you... this sucks.

We leave in roughly half and hour to head back to the hospital to take mom off the respirator. I signed the DNR paperwork earlier this afternoon. Yes, I know she may yet linger for days after. And the resident on duty did say that by agreeing to donate organs, it may take longer as well deending on how long it tkes transplant teams to get there and harvest.

Anyway, just needed to vent about the frustration with not finding the policy.

More updates later
baronessekat: (rose)
To add to [livejournal.com profile] dicea's post Read more... )
baronessekat: (rose)
Today has been tough

the details )

Update

Feb. 10th, 2007 01:21 am
baronessekat: (rose)
For those who did not see [livejournal.com profile] dicea's post, the news )

But I ask all of my friends, if you have not already done so, sit down with friends and family and let them know your wishes for health care, DNR, no heroic measure, etc so that if something happens like an unexpected brain bleed, they know what you would want to happen. Get a health care proxy signed and kept some place safe. And don't think "Oh I'm in my 20's or 30's. What's going to happen to me?" Anna Nicole was 39. Car accidents happen. Wierd birth defects long dormant surface. If not for yourself, then for those who love you and will have to deal with too many other things in a time ofhigh stress and crisis.

I['m going to go try to get some sleep and I will update as I can.
baronessekat: (whine)
When mom says "take the casserole dish with the tinfoil on it. That's the one for you", don't just take her word for it. Double check.

Otherwise you end up with the left over stuffing that has the stuff you don't like in it.

Corrilary: before actually baking the casserole... triple check.

Now I have to sit and pick raisiins out

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