baronessekat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
baronessekat) wrote2007-05-08 10:36 am
baronessekat) wrote2007-05-08 10:36 am
The SCA (AEthelmearc specifically) – the views of a not so impartial observer
The last few days has seen a flurry of posts on my flist about what can we do to make Crown better, why don’t people care anymore about the game, and the like.
I haven’t given this topic as much thought as I probably should but I want to get my “gut feelings” down and maybe through comments (if any come) sort through my opinions and the like. This is very long.
WARNING: I’m not censoring myself or my thoughts on this. This is going to just be core dump of feelings, observations and the like. And frankly if you can’t deal with that, don’t read any further
Personal SCA History
I have not been in the SCA as long as some folks that I associate with have. I discovered the group in 1992 through some friends via the Rocky Horror Picture show. As a History and Theater geek I thought the SCA was the coolest thing since carbon dating. (ok, so I was Anthropology major too).
I started going to practices and meetings because my boyfriend at the time was. I started getting involved because I was raised that you don’t just sit there, you help out when it’s needed. I was welcomed in by a group of total strangers and made to feel like I was wanted.
I also joined the SCA through a group that has very definite political standards as far as the SCA goes (I was raised by the People’s Republic of Thescorre) and seriously when I was active with them, it was about the people and the group rather than the Society as a whole. We were still part of the East Kingdom at the time and the idea of Crown Royals was just that… an idea. Sure we saw them at Ice Dragon. But what I perceived Royalty to be was the Territorial Prince and Princess of AEthelmearc. They were the ones I saw. And they were fun, jovial and just plain welcoming.
My first encounter with any kind of Royalty was after the Coronet Tourney that Morguhn Sheridan won the first time for Meirwen. The entire group of people I had gone to the event with had gone on-board. This was my first event outside of one tiny local event so I hadn’t been told about pre-reg or feasts or anything. So I was stuck fending for myself without a car. The event was at Cornell University – Risley Hall specifically. Not having a meal for myself I walked down the BIG mucking hills of the campus into town, found a Wendy’s bought myself dinner and walked back up the BIG mucking hills and ate on the steps outside while waiting for my friends. A man came out of the hall and offered me $40 for my cheeseburger, and being a poor college student at the time I seriously considered it but didn’t take it only because I didn’t want to walk those hills again. I talked with the man for a while about how it was my only my second event and how this group of people seemed like fun. He was very open and friendly and chatted with me until someone came and fetched him for the next remove of feast. It was only then that I learned I had been talking to His Highness Haakon.
Because my first encounter with Royalty was so convivial, I never had what anyone would call Peer Fear. The closest was when I met the Heir to the AEthelmearc Principality throne, Morguhn. And that was only because I had heard Haakon refer to him as “God”, and he was the one I had heard Caryl say was the only one Yngvar had wanted to beat in the tournament. And since Caryl and Yngvar were the only ones I knew participating in the Tourney I was of course curious about the man that my friend said he needed to beat (and in the end did loose to in the finals.) And even when I did finally meet him it was “Oh, You’re Morguhn. Nice to meet you”
My first Household was Highrafters. They are by far, in my opinion, one of the best groups of people for new SCAdians to meet and get involved with. They are very encouraging and great for the networking needed to succeed in AEthelmearc.
Through them I learned about the concept of serving and pitching in because it’s needed.
Then I met Caer Cinniuit. Another Royal Peer household, only different. This time I got involved with a Ducal Household just as they were about to step up onto the Principality Throne for the second time. I didn’t join right away though. I said that I needed to see what it meant to be part of a Reign; what would be expected of me if I joined and when they won again (this being Morguhn, I knew it would happen again).
I spent the reign learning what it meant to be a retainer. I learned the backdoor politics and happenings of running a kingdom (or at least gained a glimpse of what it was). I learned about how being Royalty is about putting on a show for the Populace, regardless of your personal comfort, health, etc. The populace came to be “entertained, they don’t need to know that the Princess was dying. They don’t care that you’re in a bad mood because McDonald’s screwed up your breakfast order on the way to the event. To be Royalty is to be on stage. All the world’s a Stage and being sitting Royalty puts you center stage in the hot spotlight. Pageantry is not just up to the Populace; it’s up to those that sit the throne and those that serve them.
But more importantly, I learned the one phrase that means more than anything to me out side of “I am Ekaterina Volkova, I belong to Morguhn Sheridan and all that that entails”. I learned: SERVICE IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE.
I threw myself into getting involved, not only with a reign and the subsequent household responsibilities that came with swearing to the Duke, but also was also encouraged to get involved more on a local level with my barony.
Add to that, all the work I did at Pennsic every year and you soon get a very overworked Ekat, but one who loved what she was doing.
Flash Forward to Four years ago
I had been given a Court Baronet and felt that as such I needed to be even more of an example now that I had a shiny thing on my head. I had worked even harder. Especially because this was before the usage of a CB as a glorified Sigil. This was before the time of “you can’t swing a dead cat in AEthelmearc without hitting 6 pearls”.
But after having been highly active in numerous reigns on the upper level royal retainer level, working for 8 straight Pennsics as either a Deputy, Drop Dead Deputy or Security One for Public Safety, and holding several baronial level office, I found myself burning out.
I had to take a step away.
Not only was I wearing myself too thin trying to do too much, I was starting to get told flat out that what I did, service-wise, didn’t count towards anything. At that time I had the same dreams that others did and do… maybe someday of being a Peer. But when I was told that I wasn’t being considered for a Millrind (grant level) or Pelican because “all I do is Pennsic and Pennsic doesn’t count” I got angry. I sat there thinking that the fact that at that time that my SCA resume was 3 pages long yet “all I did was Pennsic”.
I did get my Millrind just before I took my break. I got it for being a retainer and for being a combat scribe. I know people will tell me what I got it for other things as well, but those are the reasons listed on the scroll.
I learned that in AEthelmearc, you can never be good enough. You are expected to go not just one step beyond impossible, you are expected to go 10 AND stay there and once you get comfortable there, you are expected to automatically go 10 more steps. When you become known for serving, you are expected to do so, all the time. You stop getting asked. So rather than kill myself or destroy what made me me, I took a break. I stepped away from the SCA for the better part of a full year. I needed to prove to myself that yes, actually I was dispensable.
Thoughts on returning to the Game
I started slowly trying to get back in the SCA. I missed the social interaction more than anything.
But instead of getting “its good to see you again”, I would get “oh thank God you’re here, I need you to do X.”
Even now, it’s been three years since I started participating again and I find myself a lot of times wondering “why”.
The same things were happening. And are still happening. My service is automatically assumed. I don’t get asked. I have friends fighting in Crown who assume that because I’m a friend I will automatically rush to be a retainer for them should they win. I had someone say to me “oh now that you’ve moved to Group Y you can be their Seneschal.”
I’m sorry. The oath of fealty I swore was phrased in a very specific way. I serve my Duke and Knight willingly and freely saving any obligations to my family and myself. (This does mean that under obligations to myself, if I can’t financially afford it, I won’t be there). After him I will serve his Ladies. And my responsibilities put on hold during Pennsic unless we specifically talk ahead of time. Any other service, to house, household and ancillary persons is to be ASKED for by my Knight and Duke.
Nowhere does it say that just because my squire brother fights and wins, will I automatically drop everything I am doing and serve their reign. I do not have to serve someone I don’t know because they are sworn to someone who is sworn to someone who is attached to the household by a pinkie swear.
Yes, I will help when and where I can for those I like and love. But you know… it would be nice to be ASKED. Not just be told through an off-handed comment that since I’m there I am being counted on to do something.
I don’t know if it’s a personal thing or if it’s becoming pandemic in our Kingdom and the Society at large. The general assumption is that since people have proven they can and do serve, they will regardless of circumstance and willingness.
I watch good friends burn and crumble because they are being worked to the bone because “someone has to do it” and “who else is going to do it?”
Jump to the Topic of the week
So the topic this week has been why has there been such a low turn out for Crown Tournaments. Not just fighters but people as well. I hate to say it but it’s not just Crown Tournament. It’s events in general. Attendance is low. Activity is stagnate. Apathy is running rampant.
My thoughts…
1. Costs – yes it does come down to money. When it takes $50 to fill my gas tank and I know I’m going to have to fill it to go out to the event and to come home I have to stop and think if I can afford that $100 just in transportation. Add in the fact that we are all getting older and don’t have the bodies that can camp out on floors, sofa beds and papa-sans so we have to consider hotels. Add in food allergies/intolerances/and just plain funky feats people need to consider the costs of food. The least of the worries tends to be site fee. So for just me… I need to figure that I will spend upwards of $200 for a weekend to go to an event. And when most people only take home just over $600 every two weeks that’s a serious financial investment.
2. Royalty – yes I’m going to blame the royalty. And I know that I have quite a few Royal Peers on my flist who have probably made it this far. Take it personally if you want. Or don’t. Let your conscious be your guide. Courts have gotten ridiculous. Period. It used to be that you could expect Ice Dragon, 12th night and Pennsic to be the big long assed courts. The ones that it would take upwards of 3-4 hours to get all the business done. But even now, many courts run 2 hours. Part of this is the amount of business that the Royals do. Part of it is time sitting waiting while they go fetch the person who has been called up or even sitting around looking dumb while waiting to see if the person is there. And when they are not there the piece of business is pushed to another event. I have no problem with pushing the award to another time. The issue I have is that there is such a huge issue with secrecy of award presentations that no steps are made to see that the recipient is attending Court. “Well if someone had told us she needed to stay we would have made sure she would have stayed”. You don’t need to say why they need to be there, just that they need to be there.
Now, I have not been to a great many events since I returned. But those Royal Progress events that I have been have been seriously lacking. Part of it is due to the event staff themselves. But also, I’ve lost count of how many events I’ve been to where the only time I’ve seen the Royalty all day was at court. I do not place all the blame on the Royals. Like I said, I haven’t been to many events and for many of those I have been pretty sedentary, but I should still have seen the Royalty even in passing from one end of the hall to another.
There is also the belief that has come to exist in AEthelmearc that if you help run a reign, you will automatically get Pearls. If you show up and cart a tub or two you will get a Sigil. There had been a time when you had to actually work hard to get a Sigil. I have heavily served 6 Royal Reigns and sporadically served another 5. I hold one and only one Sigil. And to me it is the dearest award I have ever received. Because I worked hard for it. I’d love to see it go back to three Sigils a reign. One from the King. One from the Queen and one from Both. With maybe one or two others for extraordinary service. Giving out 40+ Sigils is ridiculous AND time consuming at Court.
3. Ourselves- this is the big one. I hear and see so many people complaining about how “No one dresses up for 12th Night anymore.” “No one dresses up for court anymore”. “No one gives a damn anymore.” “We don’t see the fighters caring.” Who is to blame? US.
Sorry but it’s true. When we were young we looked to those who had been in the SCA for a while to lead us by example. We saw Count Sir Perfect walk off the field and change into finery. We heard about Lady Divabiscuit working for months on sewing her 12th Night garb. We looked to Fighter X to give a good fight and a good show. We knew Mistress Workaholic would be the one running the events and therefore they would be awesome.
But I hate to say it folks, but we are now the ones who are being looked at as the example. We are the Sir Jocksalot who doesn’t come off the field anymore and change into velvet and gold. Hell, half the time we are lucky he even bothers to take his soft armor off before he goes into the hall for Court. We are the Mistress Sewright who just drags out a dress she wore three years ago for Pennsic Court to wear at 12th Night. We are the Fighter Y who just doesn’t practice for months before a tourney OR look at the new fighters and say “hey, I’m heading out to Thescorre’s practice next week, wanna come along?” We stopped being the ones to say “Yeah, Uber-duke A is fighting in the tourney today. So what… he’s a man and you have the ability to take him down” and became the ones that say “Oh Morguhn’s fighting, why bother, he will only win anyway.”
We have no one to blame for the apathy and complacency than ourselves.
We grew up in the SCA with others doing the work and making the magic. It’s time for us to step up and make the magic for others. We have become a generation of Peers who were raised to be very good squires/protégés/apprentices/kumquats but not really raised to be the good Peers that OUR Peers were. Our Peers encouraged us to do things. Or would look at you and say “You need to do X or Y”. We got really good at doing what we were told and now it’s our responsibility to look at those coming up behind us and showing them what needs to be done and not relying on others to tell us what to do.
America has become lazy and as such, the SCA has become lazy as well.
What can we do. We, as Peers, Baronets and the like have to start acting our rank. If we want the pageantry, we need to bring the banners. We need to be the ones to stop wearing tunics at Court and change into finery. We need to work with Autocrats to make sure there is time between the end of fighting/afternoon activities and the beginning of Court for people to change. We need to be the ones that look at new folk and say “how can I help you have fun?” We need to be the ones that grab the new fighter and drag them with us (kicking and screaming if need be) to fight practice both local and ones that are close enough to travel to.
We need to stop complaining that there is no place to showcase work/skill/etc and get off our asses and make an event happen so that there is a place to showcase. You see a void… fill it. You see a need… make it happen.
And yes I hold myself up as part of the “we”. I am a Baroness of the Court of AEthelmearc. I should be out there doing. I should be there in the finery. I should be the one saying “Let’s go”.
And yes, it is disheartening to be one of the few. But we few, we lucky few, remember what the dream was like. We know what it can be again. Why don’t we do it?
What say you?
I haven’t given this topic as much thought as I probably should but I want to get my “gut feelings” down and maybe through comments (if any come) sort through my opinions and the like. This is very long.
WARNING: I’m not censoring myself or my thoughts on this. This is going to just be core dump of feelings, observations and the like. And frankly if you can’t deal with that, don’t read any further
Personal SCA History
I have not been in the SCA as long as some folks that I associate with have. I discovered the group in 1992 through some friends via the Rocky Horror Picture show. As a History and Theater geek I thought the SCA was the coolest thing since carbon dating. (ok, so I was Anthropology major too).
I started going to practices and meetings because my boyfriend at the time was. I started getting involved because I was raised that you don’t just sit there, you help out when it’s needed. I was welcomed in by a group of total strangers and made to feel like I was wanted.
I also joined the SCA through a group that has very definite political standards as far as the SCA goes (I was raised by the People’s Republic of Thescorre) and seriously when I was active with them, it was about the people and the group rather than the Society as a whole. We were still part of the East Kingdom at the time and the idea of Crown Royals was just that… an idea. Sure we saw them at Ice Dragon. But what I perceived Royalty to be was the Territorial Prince and Princess of AEthelmearc. They were the ones I saw. And they were fun, jovial and just plain welcoming.
My first encounter with any kind of Royalty was after the Coronet Tourney that Morguhn Sheridan won the first time for Meirwen. The entire group of people I had gone to the event with had gone on-board. This was my first event outside of one tiny local event so I hadn’t been told about pre-reg or feasts or anything. So I was stuck fending for myself without a car. The event was at Cornell University – Risley Hall specifically. Not having a meal for myself I walked down the BIG mucking hills of the campus into town, found a Wendy’s bought myself dinner and walked back up the BIG mucking hills and ate on the steps outside while waiting for my friends. A man came out of the hall and offered me $40 for my cheeseburger, and being a poor college student at the time I seriously considered it but didn’t take it only because I didn’t want to walk those hills again. I talked with the man for a while about how it was my only my second event and how this group of people seemed like fun. He was very open and friendly and chatted with me until someone came and fetched him for the next remove of feast. It was only then that I learned I had been talking to His Highness Haakon.
Because my first encounter with Royalty was so convivial, I never had what anyone would call Peer Fear. The closest was when I met the Heir to the AEthelmearc Principality throne, Morguhn. And that was only because I had heard Haakon refer to him as “God”, and he was the one I had heard Caryl say was the only one Yngvar had wanted to beat in the tournament. And since Caryl and Yngvar were the only ones I knew participating in the Tourney I was of course curious about the man that my friend said he needed to beat (and in the end did loose to in the finals.) And even when I did finally meet him it was “Oh, You’re Morguhn. Nice to meet you”
My first Household was Highrafters. They are by far, in my opinion, one of the best groups of people for new SCAdians to meet and get involved with. They are very encouraging and great for the networking needed to succeed in AEthelmearc.
Through them I learned about the concept of serving and pitching in because it’s needed.
Then I met Caer Cinniuit. Another Royal Peer household, only different. This time I got involved with a Ducal Household just as they were about to step up onto the Principality Throne for the second time. I didn’t join right away though. I said that I needed to see what it meant to be part of a Reign; what would be expected of me if I joined and when they won again (this being Morguhn, I knew it would happen again).
I spent the reign learning what it meant to be a retainer. I learned the backdoor politics and happenings of running a kingdom (or at least gained a glimpse of what it was). I learned about how being Royalty is about putting on a show for the Populace, regardless of your personal comfort, health, etc. The populace came to be “entertained, they don’t need to know that the Princess was dying. They don’t care that you’re in a bad mood because McDonald’s screwed up your breakfast order on the way to the event. To be Royalty is to be on stage. All the world’s a Stage and being sitting Royalty puts you center stage in the hot spotlight. Pageantry is not just up to the Populace; it’s up to those that sit the throne and those that serve them.
But more importantly, I learned the one phrase that means more than anything to me out side of “I am Ekaterina Volkova, I belong to Morguhn Sheridan and all that that entails”. I learned: SERVICE IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE.
I threw myself into getting involved, not only with a reign and the subsequent household responsibilities that came with swearing to the Duke, but also was also encouraged to get involved more on a local level with my barony.
Add to that, all the work I did at Pennsic every year and you soon get a very overworked Ekat, but one who loved what she was doing.
Flash Forward to Four years ago
I had been given a Court Baronet and felt that as such I needed to be even more of an example now that I had a shiny thing on my head. I had worked even harder. Especially because this was before the usage of a CB as a glorified Sigil. This was before the time of “you can’t swing a dead cat in AEthelmearc without hitting 6 pearls”.
But after having been highly active in numerous reigns on the upper level royal retainer level, working for 8 straight Pennsics as either a Deputy, Drop Dead Deputy or Security One for Public Safety, and holding several baronial level office, I found myself burning out.
I had to take a step away.
Not only was I wearing myself too thin trying to do too much, I was starting to get told flat out that what I did, service-wise, didn’t count towards anything. At that time I had the same dreams that others did and do… maybe someday of being a Peer. But when I was told that I wasn’t being considered for a Millrind (grant level) or Pelican because “all I do is Pennsic and Pennsic doesn’t count” I got angry. I sat there thinking that the fact that at that time that my SCA resume was 3 pages long yet “all I did was Pennsic”.
I did get my Millrind just before I took my break. I got it for being a retainer and for being a combat scribe. I know people will tell me what I got it for other things as well, but those are the reasons listed on the scroll.
I learned that in AEthelmearc, you can never be good enough. You are expected to go not just one step beyond impossible, you are expected to go 10 AND stay there and once you get comfortable there, you are expected to automatically go 10 more steps. When you become known for serving, you are expected to do so, all the time. You stop getting asked. So rather than kill myself or destroy what made me me, I took a break. I stepped away from the SCA for the better part of a full year. I needed to prove to myself that yes, actually I was dispensable.
Thoughts on returning to the Game
I started slowly trying to get back in the SCA. I missed the social interaction more than anything.
But instead of getting “its good to see you again”, I would get “oh thank God you’re here, I need you to do X.”
Even now, it’s been three years since I started participating again and I find myself a lot of times wondering “why”.
The same things were happening. And are still happening. My service is automatically assumed. I don’t get asked. I have friends fighting in Crown who assume that because I’m a friend I will automatically rush to be a retainer for them should they win. I had someone say to me “oh now that you’ve moved to Group Y you can be their Seneschal.”
I’m sorry. The oath of fealty I swore was phrased in a very specific way. I serve my Duke and Knight willingly and freely saving any obligations to my family and myself. (This does mean that under obligations to myself, if I can’t financially afford it, I won’t be there). After him I will serve his Ladies. And my responsibilities put on hold during Pennsic unless we specifically talk ahead of time. Any other service, to house, household and ancillary persons is to be ASKED for by my Knight and Duke.
Nowhere does it say that just because my squire brother fights and wins, will I automatically drop everything I am doing and serve their reign. I do not have to serve someone I don’t know because they are sworn to someone who is sworn to someone who is attached to the household by a pinkie swear.
Yes, I will help when and where I can for those I like and love. But you know… it would be nice to be ASKED. Not just be told through an off-handed comment that since I’m there I am being counted on to do something.
I don’t know if it’s a personal thing or if it’s becoming pandemic in our Kingdom and the Society at large. The general assumption is that since people have proven they can and do serve, they will regardless of circumstance and willingness.
I watch good friends burn and crumble because they are being worked to the bone because “someone has to do it” and “who else is going to do it?”
Jump to the Topic of the week
So the topic this week has been why has there been such a low turn out for Crown Tournaments. Not just fighters but people as well. I hate to say it but it’s not just Crown Tournament. It’s events in general. Attendance is low. Activity is stagnate. Apathy is running rampant.
My thoughts…
1. Costs – yes it does come down to money. When it takes $50 to fill my gas tank and I know I’m going to have to fill it to go out to the event and to come home I have to stop and think if I can afford that $100 just in transportation. Add in the fact that we are all getting older and don’t have the bodies that can camp out on floors, sofa beds and papa-sans so we have to consider hotels. Add in food allergies/intolerances/and just plain funky feats people need to consider the costs of food. The least of the worries tends to be site fee. So for just me… I need to figure that I will spend upwards of $200 for a weekend to go to an event. And when most people only take home just over $600 every two weeks that’s a serious financial investment.
2. Royalty – yes I’m going to blame the royalty. And I know that I have quite a few Royal Peers on my flist who have probably made it this far. Take it personally if you want. Or don’t. Let your conscious be your guide. Courts have gotten ridiculous. Period. It used to be that you could expect Ice Dragon, 12th night and Pennsic to be the big long assed courts. The ones that it would take upwards of 3-4 hours to get all the business done. But even now, many courts run 2 hours. Part of this is the amount of business that the Royals do. Part of it is time sitting waiting while they go fetch the person who has been called up or even sitting around looking dumb while waiting to see if the person is there. And when they are not there the piece of business is pushed to another event. I have no problem with pushing the award to another time. The issue I have is that there is such a huge issue with secrecy of award presentations that no steps are made to see that the recipient is attending Court. “Well if someone had told us she needed to stay we would have made sure she would have stayed”. You don’t need to say why they need to be there, just that they need to be there.
Now, I have not been to a great many events since I returned. But those Royal Progress events that I have been have been seriously lacking. Part of it is due to the event staff themselves. But also, I’ve lost count of how many events I’ve been to where the only time I’ve seen the Royalty all day was at court. I do not place all the blame on the Royals. Like I said, I haven’t been to many events and for many of those I have been pretty sedentary, but I should still have seen the Royalty even in passing from one end of the hall to another.
There is also the belief that has come to exist in AEthelmearc that if you help run a reign, you will automatically get Pearls. If you show up and cart a tub or two you will get a Sigil. There had been a time when you had to actually work hard to get a Sigil. I have heavily served 6 Royal Reigns and sporadically served another 5. I hold one and only one Sigil. And to me it is the dearest award I have ever received. Because I worked hard for it. I’d love to see it go back to three Sigils a reign. One from the King. One from the Queen and one from Both. With maybe one or two others for extraordinary service. Giving out 40+ Sigils is ridiculous AND time consuming at Court.
3. Ourselves- this is the big one. I hear and see so many people complaining about how “No one dresses up for 12th Night anymore.” “No one dresses up for court anymore”. “No one gives a damn anymore.” “We don’t see the fighters caring.” Who is to blame? US.
Sorry but it’s true. When we were young we looked to those who had been in the SCA for a while to lead us by example. We saw Count Sir Perfect walk off the field and change into finery. We heard about Lady Divabiscuit working for months on sewing her 12th Night garb. We looked to Fighter X to give a good fight and a good show. We knew Mistress Workaholic would be the one running the events and therefore they would be awesome.
But I hate to say it folks, but we are now the ones who are being looked at as the example. We are the Sir Jocksalot who doesn’t come off the field anymore and change into velvet and gold. Hell, half the time we are lucky he even bothers to take his soft armor off before he goes into the hall for Court. We are the Mistress Sewright who just drags out a dress she wore three years ago for Pennsic Court to wear at 12th Night. We are the Fighter Y who just doesn’t practice for months before a tourney OR look at the new fighters and say “hey, I’m heading out to Thescorre’s practice next week, wanna come along?” We stopped being the ones to say “Yeah, Uber-duke A is fighting in the tourney today. So what… he’s a man and you have the ability to take him down” and became the ones that say “Oh Morguhn’s fighting, why bother, he will only win anyway.”
We have no one to blame for the apathy and complacency than ourselves.
We grew up in the SCA with others doing the work and making the magic. It’s time for us to step up and make the magic for others. We have become a generation of Peers who were raised to be very good squires/protégés/apprentices/kumquats but not really raised to be the good Peers that OUR Peers were. Our Peers encouraged us to do things. Or would look at you and say “You need to do X or Y”. We got really good at doing what we were told and now it’s our responsibility to look at those coming up behind us and showing them what needs to be done and not relying on others to tell us what to do.
America has become lazy and as such, the SCA has become lazy as well.
What can we do. We, as Peers, Baronets and the like have to start acting our rank. If we want the pageantry, we need to bring the banners. We need to be the ones to stop wearing tunics at Court and change into finery. We need to work with Autocrats to make sure there is time between the end of fighting/afternoon activities and the beginning of Court for people to change. We need to be the ones that look at new folk and say “how can I help you have fun?” We need to be the ones that grab the new fighter and drag them with us (kicking and screaming if need be) to fight practice both local and ones that are close enough to travel to.
We need to stop complaining that there is no place to showcase work/skill/etc and get off our asses and make an event happen so that there is a place to showcase. You see a void… fill it. You see a need… make it happen.
And yes I hold myself up as part of the “we”. I am a Baroness of the Court of AEthelmearc. I should be out there doing. I should be there in the finery. I should be the one saying “Let’s go”.
And yes, it is disheartening to be one of the few. But we few, we lucky few, remember what the dream was like. We know what it can be again. Why don’t we do it?
What say you?
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"Don't forget that the most important you need to serve is yourself".
If you don't take care of yourself, there will be nothing left for anyone else.
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Abso-bloody-lutely. I've seen a lot of people burn out. I've seen a lot more get disgusted and leave, because they were unrecognized / ignored / disregarded. Ekat, every time I've ever seen you, you were busting your @$$. I learned, a while back, something from my wife. She quoted something she'd read, to the effect that "I need to remember that I'm a human being, and not a human doing". I've p!$$ed off enough people over the years, that I'm not freakin' likely to ever become a peer. I've got the cookies I'm going to get. I only do the service that I get jollies from. Patching people up in Chirurgeon point is fun. Zipping around in a golf cart, having the whole War to myself because the rest of the Security shifts have crashed, is fun. Marshalling, is fun.
Basically, I don't do stuff unless either I'm asked, nicely; or I decided I want to and tell someone I'm available. I hit burnout a few years before you, and haven't done anywhere near as much as you have. For that matter, you've done more than me, in half the time.
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As we age, there is also the sad fact that we have more non-SCA responsibilities. Which interfere with our SCA participation and steal the energy teh SCA used to get. I recognize myself in Mistress Sewright (not meaning you were talking about me, just that I see my reflection). For many years I was Divabiscuit, but that level of activity is exhausting. I would be seriously shortchanging my son and my home and my life to resume that level. Which I did (minus the son, who wasn't yet) back then.
I would love to see mroe of the garb and glitter, the pageantry and magic. And as I return I will work for it.
One more thing; the obverse of people assuming that experienced service people will of course serve is people who want to serve being told "no thanks, we have [all the same old same old people] doing it, so we don't need you". After all the weird groups I started out in, I came to Ealdormere wnting to work and serve. I kept being told no thanks. If you're told that often enough, you give up, because you know that your service isn't wanted. I worked my ass off for two years to run Troll at Pennsic and not only was someone else given the credit (oh, she had the title, but X did the work for her - NOT TRUE), but I have been unable to do anything since. I go to troll and they have a full roster, I go to otehr areas and the spots are all taken. I know what I do well and would love to do it, but I am not allowed. happily I have my one job I do for Chirurgeons (well, maybe depending on changes - sigh) and I'm grateful to be allowed that. So whle the long time service people maybe tired of being taken for granted, they also need to realize that toerhs are tired of being blown off. (not aimed at you, just in general - it's the same people who take you for granted that blow me off)
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We as a society talk a great talk about courtesy and chivalry and The Dream. How courteous is it for a fighter to spend all day in the list field wearing sweats and plastic, then as soon as they're done fighting take off for the steakhouse and bar. The fighters are in many ways the most visible of us, our glowing neon sign. If they can treat an event like a hockey game and just have their fun and walk away, that's a signpost others will follow. Non fighters don't exist to enable fighters.
I'm picking on fighters specifically, not out of any malice, but because they are so visible and prominent. We (SCA in general) have bloody Kings who go to court in sweatpants!
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Then it is up to us, the populace, the Peers, the Baronets, etc to inform the Kings that they are not setting a proper example by wearing sweats to court. If the ones that have won the tournament do not know what is right and proper, it is the RESPONSIBILITY of those that do to help to educate those that do not.
If we permit lazy royals, we have no right to complain. In the end what can they do? They can choose to ignore our advice. They can banish us. (how is that much different than not attending an event anyway because we do not like the sitting royalty?). They can take away our library card - well maybe they can't.
It is up to us to direct our interpretation of the Dream. Even if that means throwing a pair of trews at His Majesty and informing him that he needs to not be the Beggar Prince.
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Happily, we haven't had one of those up here recently.
I think in Ealdormere we need to remind the royals that while that /are/ amongst friends, they still owe those friends a helluva show.
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You are completely correct that WE are the next generation your Excellence and its our turn to step up and assist in making it what it once was and what we wish it to be.
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she taught us an important statement that we've taken to heart: "You cannot impose on me, I will not let you." it's a sad perception, perhaps, that i suspect you have become "complicit in your own subjugation", to an extent, by allowing people to ask of you more and more, and sacrificing yourself to do more and more, because of a perception that if *you* personally don't do it, it won't get done. and so you have set a very high bar for yourself, consistently and over a long period of time — is it any wonder that people make those assumptions about your service, when for so long you have proven that that's exactly what you'll do?
on the other side, it sounds like you're reclaiming some of that personal space you for so long gave away for free. other people are no longer allowed to lodge their assumptions and expectations, rent-free, in your head, correct? then you have to be consistent and direct in saying no, drawing the line and holding it against all comers. sometimes defence is as simple as saying in the face of someone's assumption, "It's good to want things", and others, you're going to have to push back harder and deliver a summary of this post as an explanation of why no, you're not dropping everything to retain a reign for squire-brother So-and-So.
the key is consistency in the message, and even then, there will be the asshats who just Don't Get It.
"lead by example" is a guideline that applies to many things, both in terms of service and ceremony, AND in terms of self-definition. set the example of clearly and consistently defined boundaries of service, and show others how to set those boundaries so that they stand some chance of being able to avoid the trap of sacrifice-till-you-flameout-and-die.
the key to longevity in the SCA is finding the things YOU enjoy, be it the service (particular or otherwise), the people, the ceremony; and learning to be selective about interacting with those things that do not bring you joy. and the joy comes and goes over time; i'm currently in the lowest ebb in twenty years, because i can find nothing short of a few individuals who bring me joy, and i prefer to interact with them in other avenues than the SCA these days. it may come back; or it may be the SCA is finally an idea whose time has come... and gone. it may be that for you someday, or it may not. stop saying "We", and remember that setting and leading by example is something that all begins with "I", an "I" that must find its own pace, it's own point of balance, its own motivations and priorities.
i wish you all the best in finding that balance for yourself and your place in the Game, even if most others don't play it quite the way you choose to for yourself.
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I expressed shock at what seemed to be kindred understanding, tempered with joy at seeing it spring forth from Ekat, who often sees and says nothing and serves and stays quiet.
In short it was a rant that reminded me of many of my own and those of others whom I both love and respect.
If Ekat wants to flame me for That, so be it.
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I'm sure she wouldn't flame you. She has manners.
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I have also reached the point in my life where I no longer fear being scolded for having an opinion that might be different than popular concensus.
If more people would take the time to stand back and watch and observe before forming opinions things might be a little different.
Or they may not.
But it has taken me 15 years of observation to reach the conclusions I have.
Not so many people will put in the patience to do the same.
Mores the pity
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You speak a whole lot of truth there, and much of it resonates with the apathy we see on the left coast as well. Considering that the population and participation is down, why are the courts getting longer? Why do we have to meet outside an event to get any quality time with our friends? Have peers demanded a constantly elevating standard for fighting, arts and service and thereby created an atmosphere that is hostile to newcomers getting involved? Has online gaming become more attractive than events? Have the arrogant sense of royal entitlement poisoned the magic of court?
(and for anyone reading this that doesn't know me, I'm a viscount, pelican and knight)
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Online gaming has not become more attractive than the events for me... but the idea of fishing, gardening and having some actual free time from what feels like I have 2 jobs (my 9to5 and the sca) does... It does seem that if I want any real time with my sca friends I have to see them outside the sca.. and then what about my non-sca friends.. I hardly ever get to see those.. and my family.. just feels like everynight is booked with alot of sca things (and if it's not booked with.. I should be working on something.. and if i'm not.. i'm that much farther behind) ... and I go thru periods of resenting it.. or better put.. I resent myself for not being able to say "no"... when I really want to. Plus... when I do say no.. I feel guilty.. like i'm letting someone down... or I say no.. and it gets ignored and somehow I end up getting sucked right back into it...
Not to mention in some cases it really seems as thou someone needs to walk on water before they are recognized... or that we are waiting to see just how burned out someone can get before they get recognized... i've seen it... and it is discouraging..
and yes.. i'm tired... burned out.. and would love to take a step back.. but can't just yet.. as I need to finish my predicssors term out... which I will.. but also need to step back...
My question is.. how do I not feel guilty for doing that... for wanting to just relax and chill and enjoy life for a bit... no drama, no "you *have* to do this", no more feeling guilty for not knowing how to say "no" because I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings... and yes.. been in counseling off an on about this for years...
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Nnnnnnnnnnnn- oh.
It was a hard lesson for me to learn. I still have trouble at times.
But you need to be firm. Stamp your foot and say "it's ME time now" and any who try to say otherwise get shoved out the door until they learn that you need the ME time as well.
I'd be more than happy to help and be a sounding board when things get tough.
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After a while, you will grow to resent it. That won't stop these same people from preying on your sense of duty. I'll bet your upbringing had family who you were constantly fixing things for (mine sure did) and I guess it's not surprising that those same personalities would gravitate to you in the SCA.
I struggle with saying 'no' all the time. Even when I'm ragingly bitter about the whole steaming mess it leads me into. I've never really taken a break from the SCA in about 27 years, but I feel one coming on....
Have you ever watched "a man for all seasons"?
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"I struggle with saying 'no' all the time. Even when I'm ragingly bitter about the whole steaming mess it leads me into. " - yes.. this is true for me.
no I havn't.. is it a movie??
I could stand the pace when I was younger.. but it's getting harder and harder for me... don't know if it's because i'm getting older or just the resentment has built up.. probably a comb. of both...
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My wife and I developed a rule, we can't appear in the Kingdom newsletter (between us) more than five times. Right now we only appear twice, but we have more jobs than that....
The toddler we have has kind of underlined this limitation... what's that Tom Petty album?... "Let me up , I've had enough!"
I can't take the pace anymore.
"A man for all seasons" came out in 1966. Great movie! Watch it, and tell me who you sympathize with most...
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lol!
cool.. the year I was born... will go look for it and i'll let you know who. = )
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okay, I shall!
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i have seen a lot of this and am certainly guilty of it myself (expecting folks to do things that is) - although i have been trying to be better about it and making sure that I do show gratitude.
I think that we need to start appreciating each other more.
"But I hate to say it folks, but we are now the ones who are being looked at as the example."
I have no words but to say - exactly. I agree with much if not all of this post.
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I am only now beginning to recover from massive, massive burnout. I made a number of unsuccessful attempts to come back over the last few years in an effort to satisfy the social need to participate and see friends (it's a sad day when you suddenly realize that you have no friends outside of the SCA.) But the irritation and frustration was always there and was almost palpable. It stemmed from an almost prefect mix of sources that knocked me for a total loop... and no longer warrant discussion :-)
I've been thinking about coming back again, but this time it has to be completely on my terms and for my people. Reading about similar things/thoughts/reactions happening to others helps a lot.
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Nowhere does it say that just because my squire brother fights and wins, will I automatically drop everything I am doing and serve their reign. I do not have to serve someone I don’t know because they are sworn to someone who is sworn to someone who is attached to the household by a pinkie swear."
And what happens, Ekat, when your Duke and Knight is the one who offers you in service to the person who is 'sworn to someone who is sworn to someone who is attached to the household by a pinkie swear'?
What is a refusal to serve, if service itself is love?
We need to talk - ASAP. Preferably in person. Will you be at 10 Year?
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But the basic answer is, if he offers my services I will serve... When and where I can. I still will not drop everything to the expense of myself, my finances and my family. Right now I am more or less living hand to mouth in order to make the Doma livable and to afford the moving expenses. I can't work a reign. I dont' know when I can afford to do so even after I move merely due to the expenses that I have to take on with the occupation of the house.
I would also expect that he would tell me that he said that I would be able to help out with someone's reign.
Again, part of it falls under... it is nice to be asked. Even if it is a "Oh, I told X that you would help if you are available" ahead of time rather than get to an event or the like and be told then when I might have had other plans for said event.
Yes, service is love made visible, but at the same time, sometimes the best representation of service is to not be there. If I cannot give my all and do what I know needs to be done I am doing a disservice to not only myself but those that I am claiming to love by serving.
Just a little semantic note.
This statement appears to be somewhat flawed to me. Service isn't love, it is love made visible. It is a choice to express love that is a basic and ongoing truth through action. The lack of service does not equal a lack of love, it doesn't pan out in a logic statement or in practice.
Intentionally misinterpreting something as an excuse to start an argument or to claim insult isn't a healthy act of friendship and shows mistrust and fear when they are not warranted. There is no reason for there to be stress or conflict over any of this.