Thoughts on family

[baronessekat]

Today is my mother's baby-brother's 61st birthday. He is the youngest of the siblings on that side of the family. Happy Birthday Uncle Alan.

This got me thinking about how our perceptions of family members change over the years.

Back when I was little, my cousin Nikki and I thought that Alan was "The Boogie Man". I honestly don't know when or why it started. I remember that he used to play "the Tickle Game" with us. But he always understood that "stop" meant stop. Unlike my other uncle Dave (who is also my godfather), who would tickle until he was tired or you either got sick or peed your pants. But for some reason Alan was the Boogie Man.

He and my Aunt never had children and when I was little seemed to be somewhat set appart from the rest of the family. Maybe it was because they did not have the "child" bond with Mom and her siblings. I don't know.

But there were many years where we had little or no real contact with Alan or Patti, except maybe an exchange of christmas and birthday cards. Though my godparents most often forgot my birthday or any other occasion, Alan and Patti didn't (even if we did not see them in person).

Then my grandparents both got ill, each suffering strokes, and the family came back together. We reconnected with Alan and Patti and saw the true face of Dave and his wife.

When my father passed, Alan and Patti came to all viewings. Dave and Donna only came to the final one, having claimed that it was too far to come (they live 45 minutes away, in February when the funeral was maybe 1 hr).

When my grandparents died the family politics got worse with Dave and Donna and my mother stopped talking to them completely and even refused to acknowledge Dave as her brother. Alan stepped in as mediator and go-between.

But with the experience of dealing with the aftermath of my grandparents passings, we grew closer to Alan and Patti. Visiting them at their home and they coming to holiday dinners at the Doma (before it came to be known as the Doma).

Then, when Mom died, Alan and Patti stepped up for me and my sister. They have become the parental type figure but still being relaxed enough for the Aunt and Uncle relationship. They recognized that I have a special relationship with two people who mean the world to me and have welcomed my girls into the family.

Since mom's passing I have come to learn a lot about them. Like the fact that I did not know that Patti had been all ready and packed to move to a hippie commune out west somewhere, then the day before she was to leave, she met Alan and plans changed. Alan attended college on a Baseball scholarship and had hopes of professional sports until he broke his leg and those dreams were shattered. They go on cruises to the neatest places. A couple years ago did Sydney to LA. Next is Miami to Seattle via the Panama Canal.

So I think back to the days of childhood blinders and how had I continued to live with them on, I would have missed out on a wonderful relationship with family members.

So happy birthday Alan. I'm glad the blindfold is gone. You mean a great deal to me.