A Glimpse into my mind

Got up this morning, drove a little over an hour to the next city over and got the first of two COVID vaccine shots.

It was amazingly well organized, ran smoothly and everyone I encountered there was very friendly.

I wore my "Science is not a liberal conspiracy theory" shirt and glow in the dark science face mask. Every health care person there who stopped and read my shirt laughed and gave a thumbs up.

I gotta say that even though everyone wore masks and the army national guard enforced the 6ft rule, it still freaked me out to be in a place with that many people in it.

I go back in three weeks for round two.

I will feel so much better (metaphorically) once that shot is done and I've got all my little happy antibodies flowing in my system.

I don't know if it's the meds or what but ...

it's amazing how you feel better actually having clothes that fit properly (even if you never noticed that the old ones no longer fit until way past when you should have stopped wearing them).

roughly 15 pounds since September. 8.5 since Jan 1.

So last week, when I was at my doctor's office, I mentioned that I think I need to go back on low level anti-depressant. It had been 12 years and I've become increasingly aware of the downward spiral, lack of energy and general don't wanna that has become pervasive over the last year to year and a half.

So she put me back on Zoloft. I don't know off hand what dosage - just a pill a day. I started Saturday night. Sunday and part of Monday I got to go through the wonderful side effects I always get when we "artifically" play with my body's chemistry (brain or hormone) - mild, full body tremors/shakes. It feels like I've had 4 too many cups of coffee/soda and racing on caffeine. But I know eventually I will get mostly acclimated to it. The shakes won't fully go away but they should subside some.

Though I am worried on how it will effect my scribal arts even more than the tremors had before. We shall see.

But today, as I was dealing with timesheets that normally frustrated the hell out of me, cause me to fume and mumble and get annoyed - I noticed, instead of those reactions I was actually rather just calm and shrugged the things that would set me off. Later I noticed that as I was doing something, I was feeling - almost content. No dread, no "ugh I just want to go home and hide", no "can I do anything other than this, please?" And last night - i was doings and didn't notice the time until Grimmy got petulant and informed me it was bedtime. I went past 7pm and didn't have the "let's go crawl into bed and hide" urge. Whoa.

I guess there is something to resetting brain chemistry. it will be interesting to see how things go moving forward.

****

Today is Fat Tuesday. While I am not Catholic, I tend to use the Lenten season to try to do something for me. Be that make time to read, eat better, be more social, etc. I've been trying to figure out what I would do this year. I decided I'm already doing it. I'm working on dealing with the depression. So I will continue to consciously pay attention more. Take my meds and do what I need to do for me. I am also going to get back into my walking habit that I fell out of doing in February. 30 minutes a day for at least 5 if not 7 days a week. Grab that book, set the timer and pace the hall until the weather gets nice enough to go outside.

Small things. But I feel like these are in the right direction.

Self-care: It's What's for Lent.

Since January 5, I've been participating in a Biggest Loser contest amongst my friends on FB.

I have not been overly gung-ho about it. I mean, I haven't been to a gym since July when Blast closed the pool and I cancelled my membership.

But since signing up for the contest, I've dropped 13 lbs. and am back under the 200 mark.

I've mostly just been trying to be good about my caloric intake. Which has been tough. Co-workers who bring in treats - which often I can ignore. But, if I have a weakness in regards to food, it's sushi. I can easily blow my entire day's worth of calories at one meal of sushi.

Today is Fat Tuesday and people brought in paczkis. I was good and only had one. But it's going to be light calorie meals for the rest of the day to make up for it.

Even though I am not catholic, every year I try to use the Lenten holiday to do something to help improve myself. I think I will try to roll in getting my weight and health better. I'm going to not go for sushi during this time, and if I do, NOT get my usual order but instead go for something smaller in proportion. I'm going to try to stop using the elevator at work and take the stares. Come on Ekat, it's one stupid flight, you can do it. And starting tomorrow I'm going to try to go to the gym at work at least twice a week.

Little things, but it's something. And something is better than nothing, right?

Week 14 of re-commit, week 8 of FB pennsic challenge

Average # of Minutes exercised: 8.57 (some walking and munzee hunting)

Average # of calories burned: 29

Average # of calories consumed: 1616.86

# pounds total loss for week: -1 (a gain, but not surprising as, while I was tracking, I wasn't really caring)

# of pounds total loss: 21 for recommit (10.45%), 7 for challenge (3.48%)

Week 12 of Weight Loss Challenge (work):

Average # of Minutes exercised: 42.5 (mostly lawn mowing and munzee hunting)

Average # of calories burned: 202

Average # of calories consumed: 1372.67

# pounds total loss for week: 4

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 19

For the entire challenge the numbers were:

Average # of Minutes exercised: 44.65

Average # of calories burned: 234.48

Average # of calories consumed: 1467.23

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 19

Average pounds lost: 1.58 per week

% weight lost: 9.45

The weight loss challenge at work is now over. However, the one on FB is not and I have more distance to go.

Week 10 of Weight Loss Challenge (work):

Average # of Minutes exercised: 112.71 (better than last week) - walking (going Munzee Hunting)

Average # of calories burned: 391.43(better than last week)

Average # of calories consumed: 1441.71 (better than last week)

# pounds total loss for week: 2

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 19

This coming weekend is going to be the true challenge. Somehow I don't think calories from buffets and alcohol count for the "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" concept.

Week eight of Weight Loss Challenge (work):

Average # of Minutes exercised: 50.14- walking, lawn care, gardening (better than last week)

Average # of calories burned: 298.57 (better than last week)

Average # of calories consumed: 1537.57 (slightly better than last week - I was week and had a blooming onion at Outback yesterday)

# pounds total loss for week: 2

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 17


% lost for Challenge: 8.46%

Week six of Weight Loss Challenge:

Average # of Minutes exercised: 87.29 - treadmill, standing/slogging through the mud, mowing lawn, gardening. (better than last week)

Average # of calories burned: 484.29 (better than last week)

Average # of calories consumed: 1458.86 (not as good as last week - but my net calories were better)

# pounds total loss for week: 0 (but given that Mother Nature just finished visiting, I'm ok with that and it's not a gain)

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 13


% lost for Challenge: 6.47%

Goals for the week:
1. get back to drinking more water
2. Too much to do this coming week so gym is going to be iffy - try to at least go for walks on my lunch when the weather permits
3. do better about caloric intake.

Week three of Weight Loss Challenge:

Average # of Minutes exercised: 17.71 - walking or gardening. Did not do the gym at all last week (not as good as last week)

Average # of calories burned: 104.86 (not as good as last week)

Average # of calories consumed: 1233.43 (better than last week)

# pounds total loss for week: 3

# of pounds total loss for challenge: 9

Goals for the week:
1. get back to the gym thing more
2. continue to try to not dip into exercise calories.