reflections
Mar. 5th, 2019 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatSo last week, when I was at my doctor's office, I mentioned that I think I need to go back on low level anti-depressant. It had been 12 years and I've become increasingly aware of the downward spiral, lack of energy and general don't wanna that has become pervasive over the last year to year and a half.
So she put me back on Zoloft. I don't know off hand what dosage - just a pill a day. I started Saturday night. Sunday and part of Monday I got to go through the wonderful side effects I always get when we "artifically" play with my body's chemistry (brain or hormone) - mild, full body tremors/shakes. It feels like I've had 4 too many cups of coffee/soda and racing on caffeine. But I know eventually I will get mostly acclimated to it. The shakes won't fully go away but they should subside some.
Though I am worried on how it will effect my scribal arts even more than the tremors had before. We shall see.
But today, as I was dealing with timesheets that normally frustrated the hell out of me, cause me to fume and mumble and get annoyed - I noticed, instead of those reactions I was actually rather just calm and shrugged the things that would set me off. Later I noticed that as I was doing something, I was feeling - almost content. No dread, no "ugh I just want to go home and hide", no "can I do anything other than this, please?" And last night - i was doings and didn't notice the time until Grimmy got petulant and informed me it was bedtime. I went past 7pm and didn't have the "let's go crawl into bed and hide" urge. Whoa.
I guess there is something to resetting brain chemistry. it will be interesting to see how things go moving forward.
****
Today is Fat Tuesday. While I am not Catholic, I tend to use the Lenten season to try to do something for me. Be that make time to read, eat better, be more social, etc. I've been trying to figure out what I would do this year. I decided I'm already doing it. I'm working on dealing with the depression. So I will continue to consciously pay attention more. Take my meds and do what I need to do for me. I am also going to get back into my walking habit that I fell out of doing in February. 30 minutes a day for at least 5 if not 7 days a week. Grab that book, set the timer and pace the hall until the weather gets nice enough to go outside.
Small things. But I feel like these are in the right direction.
Self-care: It's What's for Lent.
So she put me back on Zoloft. I don't know off hand what dosage - just a pill a day. I started Saturday night. Sunday and part of Monday I got to go through the wonderful side effects I always get when we "artifically" play with my body's chemistry (brain or hormone) - mild, full body tremors/shakes. It feels like I've had 4 too many cups of coffee/soda and racing on caffeine. But I know eventually I will get mostly acclimated to it. The shakes won't fully go away but they should subside some.
Though I am worried on how it will effect my scribal arts even more than the tremors had before. We shall see.
But today, as I was dealing with timesheets that normally frustrated the hell out of me, cause me to fume and mumble and get annoyed - I noticed, instead of those reactions I was actually rather just calm and shrugged the things that would set me off. Later I noticed that as I was doing something, I was feeling - almost content. No dread, no "ugh I just want to go home and hide", no "can I do anything other than this, please?" And last night - i was doings and didn't notice the time until Grimmy got petulant and informed me it was bedtime. I went past 7pm and didn't have the "let's go crawl into bed and hide" urge. Whoa.
I guess there is something to resetting brain chemistry. it will be interesting to see how things go moving forward.
****
Today is Fat Tuesday. While I am not Catholic, I tend to use the Lenten season to try to do something for me. Be that make time to read, eat better, be more social, etc. I've been trying to figure out what I would do this year. I decided I'm already doing it. I'm working on dealing with the depression. So I will continue to consciously pay attention more. Take my meds and do what I need to do for me. I am also going to get back into my walking habit that I fell out of doing in February. 30 minutes a day for at least 5 if not 7 days a week. Grab that book, set the timer and pace the hall until the weather gets nice enough to go outside.
Small things. But I feel like these are in the right direction.
Self-care: It's What's for Lent.
