A Glimpse into my mind

well 35 now but still. I've been with my new organization for that long and I still am floored by how well it's going.

Today I came into work from to an email from my boss praising an email I wrote and how wonderful it was that I am "keeping the trains running smoothly and doing so while representing [her] and the organization so well." and that she was so happy that I have joined the team.

I actually started crying at my desk. Luckily I was the only one in my part of the office at the time and was able to pull myself together before anyone saw me being a snotty mess. After Bosslady came in and we sat down for our beginning of the day/week review of what's on deck, I told her that she made me cry in a good way and how I honestly could not remember the last time I experienced positive validation from a supervisor. She actually teared up a little and said that she was sorry that I had experienced that and no one should have to work like that.

So yes, I am happy where I am. I am learning a lot, have wonderful coworkers who include me in conversations and have invited me to join them for lunch from time to time. I get thanked for the "emergency chocolate" basket on my desk, and in general have been made to feel like I am part of the team.

Additionally, I commented to friends this weekend that it's been over a month since I had a tension induced migraine. It's been over a month since I had a tremor storm (that's what I call them as they are not seizures), it's been over a month since I spent the majority of my day watching the clock and counting the minutes to lunch and home. I no longer fear hearing my name being called out.

It's only been a month, bu to quote Little Orphan Annie "I think I'm gonna like it here."

Last week I had a bizarre dream... my old job (the one I lost due to Covid) called me and asked me to come back.

This week, the job popped up on an email from Indeed. I took it as a sign and applied. I figured it can't hurt and it might give me something as leverage to get more money or vacation time from the job from hell.

Then out of nowhere I have been contacted by 3 different companies who have seen my profile on Linkedin. Today I had a screening phone interview with a very interesting NFP and before we ended, she has already scheduled a zoom second interview next week. I also have a phone screening interview with another and the third is asking my availability.

I am taking this as a sign from the universe that it's time. But since three of the four possibilities contacted me, I am more or less keeping my promise to not actively look until at least the end of the year.

It's nerve wracking but when the universe tells you something, I tend to listen.

Last week, my first week at new company, my BossLady was on vacation. So today was my first real day with her.

I'm liking what I have encountered.

She asked me if I had preferred pronouns.

I told her that I fully embrace my role as "weird one of the office" and she replied "You are not weird. No one is weird. We are all who we are exactly as we should be. We all came out of different molds"

And she told me that she love the new hair color. "The blonde was good but that raspberry/burgundy is really fun"

She liked that I was not afraid to jump right into meetings with observations - pulling from whatever meeting we just got out of. And she loved when I looked at her after 3 straight hours of zoom meetings and asked "do you need to pee? I can stay in and let people into the next meeting so you can go pee, stretch and stuff."

If the future is like today, I think we may make a really good team.

Anyone who has followed my posts here for the last 4 months may have come to the conclusion that I hate my job.

That is an understatement. I LOATHE it. My boss is the founder/owner/President of the company. He is also a 75 year-old racist, bigoted, misogynistic asshollic bully who has no concept that people have a life outside of him. He is a multimillionare who is building two homes. One here in NY and one in Florida that are ultra modern monstrosities that look like IKEA threw up and made a house. He has no problem dropping $400 on a pair of jeans for himself but won't shell out to cover gas for someone who runs an errand for him during work hours.

Also his concept of time... heaven forbid you are 1 minute late to come to him when he calls you but when you do arrive because he asked you to come to his office you get to sit and wait 20 minutes while he checks email, returns a phone call OR... shops online for a new car or more property to buy.

I'm supposed to be his executive assistant. What I do most of the day is watch him read emails, make phone calls, shop online and on rare occassions type up a letter he's dictated. I also get him coffee. Which consists of him asking for coffee - I get up from my desk, walk into his office, take the empty cup off his desk, step to the other end of the desk where the Kureig is, put the coffee pod in the machine and push the button.


And he hates color. everything on him, the office and his home are black and white, with a splash of grey. So yeah - NOT ME. My rebellion is to wear bright colors - even if it means him constantly making comments on my garments.

To call my days soul crushing is a bit of an understatement. I determined this was going to be the case about 3 days after I started. That's when I started looking for something else. But I wasn't about to quit without something else in place.

This week that something else has come through. Monday, April 5th I start as the Administrative Specialist for a woman-owned, not-for-profit company that focuses on HIGH exposure branding. As the CEO said, basically it's going to be my office. I will handle everything from emails, to bank runs, to website updates, to membership database control to event planning and managing. It comes with a raise, potential bonus pay, and when we host events in person again - travel. They are already planning Las Vegas and Atlanta in 2022. And it's work from home until the world (or at least the state/county) is back to 100%.

I have not posted to Facebook yet because I have not yet given my official notice where I am currently employed. My plan is to do that this Friday about half an hour before the end of my day. I am prepared to either be worked to the bone for the next three weeks or to be summarily dismissed. Personally I expect the first option because, like I said, boss hates to spend money on someone else and you bet your ass I'd file for unemployment for these three weeks.

I already feel lighter and happier. I was talking with my sister on my lunch today and said "it's almost like I"m escaping an abusive relationship" and she replied "you are."

But regardless, I am really looking forward to this new opportunity. The emails I have been exchanging with my soon to be Bosslady and the CFO (also a woman) have been vibrant, exciting and they are genuinely happy to have me coming aboard (well if all the exclamation marks in the emails are any indication).

So there you have it. The state of me.

I have started writing in an actual journal - paper, pen the whole shebang. I guess part of me is still that history nerd that loved reading about what ordinary people thought about world history events. So I figured I should write it both in electric and physical form. How often I transcribe from the book to here but we shall see.

I wrote this on Saturday the 21st before bed.

Saturday March 21, 2020

Saturday. Normally I would be at an event watching friends get recognized for service and dedication to the SCA. Instead, the event is cancelled as we go further into social lock-down.

I took Grimm for a small walk today and cannot help but notice the change - driveways are full of cars, but, despite the fairly mild weather, no one is outside. Other than some song birds - there is silence. Usually I can hear the low hum of traffic fro the 990 expressway less than a mile a way. Now- nothing.

New orders have come down from the state - 10% non-essential personnel must NOT come into work. I am technically essential because of the payroll I process but I have worked out a plan with my boss that I only come into the office for no more than 30-45 minutes a day to pick up necessary items and paperwork and then go hoe to work. Today I received the "hall pass" as I have been calling it - a letter from the CEO explaining the nature of our business and saying I am an essential employee. It's to keep on hand should i get stopped on y way to or from the office. The scary thing is that the letter is "good until December 31, 2020." I really hope that I do not need it for that long. But the Governor has indicated that this could go for upwards of 18 months.

The State has also ordered all hair, barber, tattoo and nail shops closed until further notice. this means within the next two weeks I will be losing my nails and hair until I feel the need to do so - for my mental health and the benefit of my soul.

I will be careful to monitor my mental health and just do what I can. There was a thing going around FaceBook that said instead of saying we are in quarantine or isolation because of the virus, we should say "in exile for the Good of the Realm". Or that we 'have taking an oath of solitude until the crisis is over". So I will do what I must... For the Good of the Realm."

The New Normal

Me answering the phone: "This is Tina, how may I help you"

Lady on the Other End (LOTOE): "May I speak to Kristina?"

Me: that's me, how may I help you.

LOTOE: But you said your name is Tina.

Me: yes - it's short for Kris- TINA

LOTOE: oh I get it. This is X from Y. I'm trying to process the order you placed yesterday and need a bit more information.

Me: OK.

LOTOE: Your company's full name is "Kristina"?

*slight pause*

Me: No. I'm Kristina. My company is IIMAK.

LOTOE: OK. The person attending the conference is Kristina?

Me: No, as I put in the email, it's my co-worker Michael

LOTOE: his last name is Telesco?

Me: No, as I just said, his last name is [insert name]. Telesco is MY last name.

*sounds of typing*

LOTOE: OK, so I have Kristina Telesco registered for the conference.

*deep sigh*

Me: No.... no... no. I am Kristina Telesco. I need to register Michael [last name] for the conference.

LOTOE: But the email is from a Kristina Telesco and that's the name on the credit card being used to pay.

Me: correct. You received the registration information from me. I am using my company card to pay for it so MICHAEL can attend your conference.

5 more minutes of this. The woman was fixated on my name. And confirmed our mailing address no less than 5 times. I'm now waiting for the confirmation email to arrive and fully expect that my name will be listed as the attendee.

08:00 Boss #2 calls me into his office and asks me to sit down. Conversation starts with "We are going to have to do some downsizing." Apparently the panic on my face was rather clear, because he blinked and instantly said "this doesn't effect you."

But he told me to get boxes together because his department of influence was being downsized and could I have things ready for after the news is broken. And then uses the phrase "everyone reacts differently to this kind of news, so I give you permission that if you need to to call 911." He doesn't tell me who, so of course I start trying to figure out who in the department would behave to that news in such a way that I would have to call the police.

10:13 HR rep shows up and first person called into the office. My heart sinks for the one being let go.

10:40 that meeting is let out and another HR rep shows up and second person called in. Again, my heart drops for them.

11:15 that meeting lets out, I get boxes together and take to their office (both people laid off shared an office) and become available to help them pack.

11:30 HR manager arrives and meeting with third person happens. No lay-off just "we are offering you a position in X department". Which means if she doesn't take it, it will be a lay off.

12:20 Fire alarm goes off.

It's been really hard to focus for the rest of the day.

At 13:30 was a mandatory all-hands meeting for office personnel. In total 10 position were eliminated here and 24 positions in our Mexico branch.

While I am glad I survived the cull, I do feel sorry for those that didn't.

Last Friday I wasn't feeling so hot and decided that I would probably spend most of the day drinking tea at work. So I pulled out the "decaf" orange coffee pot that hasn't been used in the 2 months that I've been working here, cleaned the coffee maker resevoiur so that it didn't taste like coffee, put 8 regular lipton tea bags in it and brewed up a pot of tea.

The oohs and aaah that could be heard coming from the kitchen after it was done and folks going "who thought to do this, it's a great idea" were histerical. Apparently none of these super smart chemists and engineers had ever thought to use a coffee maker to make up a large quantity of tea. I've had no less than 10 different people now come by my desk to thank me for starting to have tea available readily made. (the tea bags, regular, green tea, and decaf, have always been available but apparently it was always too much hastle to open one up, put it in a cup and pour hot water over it.

Now the one thing I have learned is that these chemists and engineers are moochers when it comes to free food/drink. Put it in the kitchen as "up for grabs" and whatever you put there will be gone within 30 minutes. (I timed it when I brought in left over coffee cake after Summer's End). So over the weekend, I went through all my tea stashes and brought in all the flavors that I do not drink on a regular basis and will just go bad sitting in my cupboard, or the kinds I can't drink (like the Blackberry Sage).

So now every morning, as I am the first one here, I pull the "tea" coffee pot out of the dishwasher and make up a pot of regular lipton tea. And after lunch I or one of the others here will make up a pot of one of the flavored teas. I sit close enough to the kitchen that I can hear the conversations and it's been quite amusing listening to them all discussing the pros and cons of the different flavors. The Candy Cane mint has been a big hit with all. The Bigalow Apple Cinnamon has a 50/50 rating. We shall see what they think of the Bigalow Peach today.

I will have to talk to our coffee vendor and see what flavored teas they have and start ordering some or use some of my "discressionary fund" to keep the tea in stock if the coffee guys don't have flavors. But I have head the folks here discussing doing what I did and bringing in the ones that they don't drink enough at home to warrent keeping there.

I just find this whole thing quite amusing.

Been back to work now for 2 weeks.

We are making progress in getting back to a resemblance of normalcy. Though we've all had to redefine what normalcy is.

The construction is finally done in the front hall. Walls up, ceiling replaced, pretty color on the wall.

Today I was given a promotion. Basically my job has not changed except taking on a little more from the Interim GM. Stuff he used to do that he doesn't have time for. So it's more of a title change than anything, though we don't really have titles here. After all, when you are a company of 8 people titles just get in the way of getting things done in the day to day minutae of life. Though titles help when you are talking to folks on the telephone trying to placate them/beg for extensions/get them to shut up. I'm Operations Manager/Director of Operations. Does not come with any pay change... yet. Maybe in 6 months when we prove to the BoD that we are viable and functioning we can all get pay hikes.

The only concession I got was a change of hours. Instead of 8-5 with no real lunch break, my new hours are 8-4:30 with a kinda lunch break. Being salaried means lunch breaks are kinda fluid. That's fine with me. My hours were actually something that was one of the list of reasons I was going to start looking elsewhere when I had my one-year anniversary. But right now the only thing that I have any issue with is not the job's fault. I'd prefer to work closer to home. But the oppressive feel of the office, the hours, the unreasonable expectations and requests have all changed. I just wish a good woman did not have to die for it to have happened.

Hi all,

my boss has asked me to come up with a general list of advertisers that are on "mainstream" television networks.

Since I only watch certain channels I was hoping folks could give me a hand and as you are watching TV over the next week, could you make a list of what companies you see ads for?

If you could send me the list to ktelesco AT bridgestv DOT com I'd really really appreciate it.