Anxiety and imposter syndrome and stuff

[baronessekat]

Two weeks to my Laureling elevation.

Two more weeks to finish preparing and stuff.

I have decided that the pre-ceremony reception dress will be something I already own. Every time I move to cut out something new, I find myself getting distracted and doing something else. That tells me my brain just cannot cope.

Meanwhile I am working on the thank you gifts for those speaking on my behalf during the ceremony. But I look at them and see every single flaw in the painting and think "they are going to see this and totally realize I'm an artistic hack and change their minds."

I am also working on a scroll that is to go out in the same court I am being elevated in and the imposter syndrome is hitting with that one as well.

Further, I am not making my elevation dress and trying not to constantly ask about the status of it. Trusting someone who is not just down the road to make a dress out of some pricey fabric is really outside my comfort zone.

This is so hard.