Visibility and Blindness
Jul. 24th, 2006 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatI've been thinking this morning. Yes watch out, Ekat's been thinking again, run for the hills.
Anyway, I had my daily morning phone conversation with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dicea and the topic we discussed got my mind working. Then I read her post and that got me thinking more.
There are times in our lives, many many many in fact, where we offer to do something for someone as a "favor" or "kindness" or simply because they asked. And most of the time, (ok for most of the people I know and therefore I'm making a generality on people as a whole) we agree to it. Usually not out of an "they owe me one" or building up some kind of Kharmic brownie points. We do it because we can, we want to, and well... they asked. We are therefore providing a service.
In the SCA my friends and family have the saying "Service is Love made visible". In otherwords, we do what we do because it is a visible and tangible way of showing someone we care. We give of ourselves in some fashion to show that this person who is receiving such service means something to us.
But there is another, older saying "Love is blind". We over look things, faults, situations, because we care.
Put these two sayings together and you can end up with a world of hurt on the end of the giver.
It is possible to give so much in our attempt to show the depth of our feelings that we become so blinded to the fact that perhaps the service we give is detrimental to ourselves, our loved ones, our community and possible worse.
Therefore there are times when we must, for the sake of ourselves, our loved ones, our community and all that a line must be drawn. When the service we give to make our love visible must be redefined. The blindfold must be removed so that things can be seen clearly.
A seed may be strong, but without proper care and sunlight, it will never grow into the mighty oak with a strong root system to support itself.
Love starts as a seed and must be nurtured in order to grow strong and healthy. It needs a great root system to support itself.
Service may be love made visible, but we all must take care to not serve to the point of total blindness.
Anyway, I had my daily morning phone conversation with
dicea and the topic we discussed got my mind working. Then I read her post and that got me thinking more.There are times in our lives, many many many in fact, where we offer to do something for someone as a "favor" or "kindness" or simply because they asked. And most of the time, (ok for most of the people I know and therefore I'm making a generality on people as a whole) we agree to it. Usually not out of an "they owe me one" or building up some kind of Kharmic brownie points. We do it because we can, we want to, and well... they asked. We are therefore providing a service.
In the SCA my friends and family have the saying "Service is Love made visible". In otherwords, we do what we do because it is a visible and tangible way of showing someone we care. We give of ourselves in some fashion to show that this person who is receiving such service means something to us.
But there is another, older saying "Love is blind". We over look things, faults, situations, because we care.
Put these two sayings together and you can end up with a world of hurt on the end of the giver.
It is possible to give so much in our attempt to show the depth of our feelings that we become so blinded to the fact that perhaps the service we give is detrimental to ourselves, our loved ones, our community and possible worse.
Therefore there are times when we must, for the sake of ourselves, our loved ones, our community and all that a line must be drawn. When the service we give to make our love visible must be redefined. The blindfold must be removed so that things can be seen clearly.
A seed may be strong, but without proper care and sunlight, it will never grow into the mighty oak with a strong root system to support itself.
Love starts as a seed and must be nurtured in order to grow strong and healthy. It needs a great root system to support itself.
Service may be love made visible, but we all must take care to not serve to the point of total blindness.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-24 03:24 pm (UTC)For your consideration, I give you the lessons of Service I have been taught so far.
1. Creating a problem, and then solving that problem doesn’t count as service. Service improves the Society, and that only keeps the status quo.
This one has to be carefully distinguished from being the first to recognize a new need of the Society. For instance, children are changing the nature of our game and therefore must be included. This lesson would not apply in this case. Nor would it apply to the person who notices that the throne cushions are getting nasty and replaces them. This lesson applies to the person that invents something new and wedges it into the society, without filling a real internal need. These projects often show up every couple of years and usually die off after a few months.
2. Serving to the point of burnout exhaustion (physical/mental/whatever) isn’t service to the society, or yourself.
This one is easier. It’s for the people that do too much and expect extra martyr points for it.
3. If you choose to serve, don’t whine about it.
No one put a gun to your head. This one generally goes hand-in-glove with lesson # 2.
I have also learned from a coulpe Pelican friends of mine the following;
1. Service rendered, verses Chaos engendered.
It’s not service if you’ve stepped on too many toes in the effort.
2. Serve where you can, and stand out of the way of the others when you can’t.
3. Ask.
This may not be much, but it is what I’ve learned.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-24 08:54 pm (UTC)The Fellowship to which I belong (of which I am a "grateful member") stresses the importance of genuine "altruism", giving without expectation of any return. I, for one, know that I am a selfish person, especially with my time. What was the return on my selfishness? Unhappiness as hardly ever did I get what I thought I deserved. Where did this selfishness take me? To places I would rather not be, where fear, despair and discontent filled every waking moment. Only by giving selflessly can I manage to maintain an attitude and outlook on life which allows me to be "reasonably happy". Gosh, with the good feelings I get when I give, some might say that giving selflessly is a rather...selfish act? Hmmmm. Bit-o-a-paradox I guess.
In any case, the literature of out Fellowship states: "Our very lives...depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs".
Of course, by no means have I achieved anything like "perfection" in my giving or service to others. Everyday I struggle with myself, my instincts and my character flaws. Striving for progress, not perfection.
And also you make a good point about how far one should go in helping others. There are those who will take advantage and that we must guard against.
Again, nice to know there are others who contemplate these important matters of heart and soul. Sorry if this is a little lengthy or maybe not exactly on topic but just felt a need to respond as what you have talked about here has made a tremendous difference in my life over the last 4-5 years.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-24 11:45 pm (UTC)I'm sort of back now. Someday I hope to get in Golf Cart again. :-)
And since you might not recognize my mundane nickname, I'll even sign this.
Cheers,
Baron-Stierbach Ivan Ivanovich Nemytyi
Dep. Security Chief - Pennsic XXV (Among other things)