I'm ready...

for this to all be done and over with.

I have officially hit that point. I know I've been going non-stop since the beginning of February.

I want to be further along on so many fronts right now.

While I'm trying to be practical when it comes to fixing up and cleaning out the house and the goals I set for it, I am more than ready to have the walls painted, the stove replaced, the floors redone, the crap in the dump and myself moved in. I no longer want to be in my apartment.

My goals for 12th night presents have been all shot to hell. Im only done with 1.5 of them. By now I should have been done with almost 3.

I have at least two backlog scrolls due for Pennsic, one of which I've had the assignment for for at least 3 years now. I should at least have one plotted out.

I need to make an appointment to get mine and mom's taxes done.

I need to see about getting my Pennsic reservation in. But I'm sitting here wondering if I should even bother. Should I instead stay home and just work on house/apartment. But I was miserable the year I didn't go to Pennsic.

I"m more than ready for someone else to be the grown up for even a little bit.

update on mom's donations

I got a thing in the mail today from Upstate New York Transplant Services (UNYTS).


Her corneas were used in the international transplant program and have already been transplanted. One into a person in Cambodia and another in Thailand.

Even in the end, mom helped others.

my answers to unique_name_123

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?

content. I want to not have to worry about the big things like where the funds for the next bill is coming from. Where the life insurance policy is. And things like that. You know... all the stuff real grown ups don't want to have to worry about when they grow up.

But for jobs and stuff... I would still really like to do something with Photography. I miss it and hope once the house gets finished I can have my dark room back, even for a little bit.

2. If money was no object and you could buy the land you needed, how would you landscape the house? (Or have someone landscape it for you?)

Rose, Rose, Roses. I love roses of all shapes and colors. I would love a rose garden of some kind. I'd like a cover or umbrella on the back deck so I can go sit outside and enjoy the summer evenings. I would love a pool too. I really miss swimming. Even if it was one of those stationary pools.

3. What is your favorite style of illumination?

To have on my wall: Master of Mary of Burgandy - the floral and bird borders. Or really intricate celtic. Like a carpet page of the Kells or Durrow.

To do: Simple Visconti, 13-15th c. Dutch, or line work. I've been gravitating towards a simple illumination of either just the badge or a device with lots of calligraphy. Mostly that's because I get wordy and if there's lots of illumination it' makes it a pain to calligraphy all the words I come up with in such a small space

4. Biggest regret?

It's twofold. 1. Not listening to my sister's major worries and chalking it up to overracting when she said she had not heard from our mother in a couple days. 2. Our last time together I was in a rush to get out the door because I wanted to meet up with some friends. Had I known that was going to be the last time I would see my mom "alive" I would have told her I loved her. I never really said it to her and felt like I put the emotion behind it. Looking back it always seemed more as something to say by rote.

5. What makes you smile no matter what?

Eeyores. I collect them and even the stupidest looking ones seem to make me smile. Even gloomy he finds a way to have a "positive" spin to things.