One day at a time

Yesterday it hit. The February depression. And it hit like a ton of bricks.

Doing anything productive yesterday was a task in supreme will power - and this included doing things like making myself something to eat. At one point it was even fighting a panic attack to open the front door and get the mail out of the mail box.

I didn't actually fall asleep last night until about 4:45am.

This morning I'm doing a little better. I was able to open the door and get the paper off the front porch. I noticed the nice weather and had a fleeting thought of maybe I should take Grimm for a walk, but that too was instantly followed by a total paralizing fear.

I'm working on trying to focus on the good things.

I celebrated my one year anniversary at work. They even gave me a nice desk clock/calculator combo with the company's logo on it to mark the occasion. I need to focus on the fact that it may not be my ideal job, but I have one and that as long as the company remains in business I have one.

I have food in the kitchen - may not be what I want to eat at the moment but I won't starve this week.

I have a puppy and kitties that love me and tolerate snuggles from a clingy wreck of a mommy.

I have friends and family who love me.

Yes the next several weeks are going to be tough, but I am strong enough to get through it.