Glad Game - March 4

* water goal achieve - first time since getting sick (I stuck mostly to ginger ale and lemonade)

* I had been gifted a gift certificate to a company that makes alpaca socks. They arrived Saturday and I wore them. My feet have never been so warm!

* serious headway on both my e-book and my audiobook.

* glad I took Sunday to make up all the meals so I could just reach in the fridge, grab something and have a real meal in minutes.

* messy art

reflections

So last week, when I was at my doctor's office, I mentioned that I think I need to go back on low level anti-depressant. It had been 12 years and I've become increasingly aware of the downward spiral, lack of energy and general don't wanna that has become pervasive over the last year to year and a half.

So she put me back on Zoloft. I don't know off hand what dosage - just a pill a day. I started Saturday night. Sunday and part of Monday I got to go through the wonderful side effects I always get when we "artifically" play with my body's chemistry (brain or hormone) - mild, full body tremors/shakes. It feels like I've had 4 too many cups of coffee/soda and racing on caffeine. But I know eventually I will get mostly acclimated to it. The shakes won't fully go away but they should subside some.

Though I am worried on how it will effect my scribal arts even more than the tremors had before. We shall see.

But today, as I was dealing with timesheets that normally frustrated the hell out of me, cause me to fume and mumble and get annoyed - I noticed, instead of those reactions I was actually rather just calm and shrugged the things that would set me off. Later I noticed that as I was doing something, I was feeling - almost content. No dread, no "ugh I just want to go home and hide", no "can I do anything other than this, please?" And last night - i was doings and didn't notice the time until Grimmy got petulant and informed me it was bedtime. I went past 7pm and didn't have the "let's go crawl into bed and hide" urge. Whoa.

I guess there is something to resetting brain chemistry. it will be interesting to see how things go moving forward.

****

Today is Fat Tuesday. While I am not Catholic, I tend to use the Lenten season to try to do something for me. Be that make time to read, eat better, be more social, etc. I've been trying to figure out what I would do this year. I decided I'm already doing it. I'm working on dealing with the depression. So I will continue to consciously pay attention more. Take my meds and do what I need to do for me. I am also going to get back into my walking habit that I fell out of doing in February. 30 minutes a day for at least 5 if not 7 days a week. Grab that book, set the timer and pace the hall until the weather gets nice enough to go outside.

Small things. But I feel like these are in the right direction.

Self-care: It's What's for Lent.

2019 reading challenge: A book about someone with a superpower

Renegades by Marissa Meyer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Prodigies, people with superhuman powers, rose up and and were feared as villains called Anarchists. But then a small group of them broke away to become heroes and started calling themselves Renegades.

Nova was born into a family of Anarchists. But her father had made a deal with the Renegades and in return they agreed to protect her family. But they failed. Her family was killed when she was six years old. On that day she swore revenge against the Renegades and all they stood for.

Now grown, Nova agrees to be part of an Anarchist plot to infiltrate the Renegades. But in doing so she starts to wonder just what is right and what is wrong. And it doesn't help that, in her role as a Renegade trainee, she's teamed up with the son of two of the head Renegades. She must eventually decide is she the Anarchist Nightmare, or the Renegade Insomnia.

Once again, I enjoyed Marissa Meyer's work (she wrote the Lunar Chronicles and Heartless). It took me a bit to get into the audiobook only because Rebecca Soler also read all of the Lunar Chronicles and it took a bit to try to get my brain from trying to figure out where in the Lunar Chronicles world the Renegades fit. But once I overcame that, I became engrossed and enjoyed the book.

Will definitely be seeking out the next book in the not too distant future.



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