thoughts as of late

I've been slowly working on losing weight. Nothing drastic. Just more or less being aware of what I'm eating, when I'm eating and why I'm eating - "Am I actually hungry or am I bored?" "Am I eating because it's 'dinner time' or because I am hungry?" "Should I really want that burger or would a salad be just as satisfying?" kind of things.

I walk when I can, but I'm not as good about doing my 30 minute walks as I should.

I know I've lost weight. about 15 lbs since Thanksgiving. I have noticed non-scale victories - my SCA plaque belt needing to have a plaque removed because it fell off my body it was too big, noticing I could pull my pants off without unfastening them. In fact yesterday I was at walmart and on a whim tried on a 14W pair of pants and HOLY SHIT - they fit. I have been wearing 18W for 2 years and last week talked myself into trying an old pair of 16W on and noticed they were a bit loose. Regular 14 is too small still but a 14W is just about right (though just a bit snug in the leg).

I don't know if my noticing is because I'm trying to tackle my depression or not. But whoa.

But one weird thing lately is that I feel "taller". I find myself ducking my head down to get into the car when I never did that before. this was even before I rented a tiny car for the weekend to go up to Canada (was not going to take the car that needs a new break light and exhaust work across an international border). I even found myself adjusting my chair and keyboard tray height at work. It's just weird. I don't know if that's a dissociative thing (which I do do) or just a "more aware of myself and my surroundings because I"m not living in my head" thing.

Anyway, just random things floating around in my head about me lately that I wanted to document.

Glad Game 2019 - March 19

* water goal met

* finished book #25

* messy art made

* yummy take out dinner - yes it totally blew my calories but it was what I was craving and I could not stop thinking about it all day, so I gave in. Refuse to let myself feel guilty.

* NON-SCALE VICTORY: last week I noted that my pants were big so I pulled out from storage a size smaller and not only did they fit, they were a bit loose. While in Walmart for something I grabbed a couple pairs the next size down. I'm in that size range that Ladies and Women's overlap with the difference being a bit more room in the backside with the women's. While the ladies did not fit the women's did. The legs were a bit snug for my personal comfort but I was able to not only pull them on, but fasten the closures completely without sucking in and being uncomfortable. That means since Thanksgiving I've either lost or redistributed enough to go down TWO pants sizes. Needless to say I did pick up a couple pairs in the new size. *go me*