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look back and look forward
Dec. 30th, 2020 09:15 pm2020 to-do list
1. Health - I did pretty good last year so will aim to continue At least one sports bottle worth of water a day. Daily walking was a bust so I’m going to aim for 30 minutes 3 times a week. I would like to continue with the weight loss and to try to be a size smaller by Pennsic - not out of vanity but just because it would help me move and breathe better. --- Well I did some for a while. Was doing really good when I was unemployed over the summer. I had managed to maintain my weight and had lost inches. But then I stopped caring and gained back all plus some. As I have seen people call it – the COVID Nineteen. I am ending the year up 5 pounds from where I started so I guess I’ll take that as a kinda even all things considered. Also, my primary doctor retired so that sent me looking for a new PCP. Thanks to a recommendation from a friend, I found a new health care practice and had my initial intake with a new Nurse practitioner. So far I like her a lot. I also got in to see an OB-GYN again and he actually answered a few things that I didn’t know I wondered about until he brought it up. So again, a win.
2. Employment - goal is now 8 years. I like it here. ---- HAHAHAHAHAHA. No one saw this year coming and sadly because of the pandemic, my position was eliminated. My boss fought to keep me but even with 7.5 years there, I was low man on the admin totem pole. I spent the summer looking. Lots of interviews but in the end only one offer. I took it. I can’t say I’m happy here but it’s employment. So there is that.
3. Arts and Crafts
A. Turn the boxes and fabric in my garage converted into scroll cases. ----I cut down boxes but that’s as far as I got.
B. I found this year that I my creative need was deeply satisfied by participating in various “Photo-a-day” challenges. I will keep this up as I can. ---- This I kept up with. I found it fun and satisfying. A couple times my photos were picked for “photo of the day” by the FB groups I’m in.
C. Find another project to do with my hands that I can do when "just sitting": either get back into Crocheting, embroidery, or maybe actually reading. I spend too much time playing on the tablet and watching TV --- I completed one full crocheted blanket and started another. I also made close to 600 masks since March. I only read/listened to 80 books this year (low considering the time I have since I wasn’t working). I did still spend too much time just sitting/playing on my tablet. I also made over 130 messy art pieces; some I have sold to friends. And I made several new dresses and t-shirts for myself.
4. SCA
A. Scribal : I want to continue to try to find the joy again. I also need to work on the research project that I've started. --- Yeah that didn’t happen. I have only made maybe 5 scrolls this past year. I looked at my backlog list but that’s as far as I got. Not having regular courts has not helped this.
B. Mentor : Continue working with the two active protégé’s that I have to help them achieve their SCA dreams. --- I have remained in contact with my two official and active protégés, though SCA activities have mostly ground to a halt. In January I took an Un-Protégé and we chat often.
C. For myself : I need to stop trying to figure out what others want of me. Either tell me or stop expecting things. I’m tired of guessing. I also want to put together a bid for Kingdom 12th Night 2021 --- Because of the pandemic the bid for 12th Night didn’t happen. Nothing’s really happening right now. And I hate to admit it that I am not bothered by that at all. I remain in touch with those people who I can. But, actual SCA activities have paused.
5. Reading Challenge - I enjoy this challenge immensely and have already started several books for this year picked out. I completed the PopSugar challenge and did all but 4 categories for the Around the Year one. I did not read/listen to as much as I have in the past, but the fact that I got 80 books done is an accomplishment.
6. House: I need to be more realistic about my goals
A. Front Hall - still want to strip and paint ---After years of saying I was going to do it… I did! With my sister’s help we spent a weekend and stripped and repainted the hall. I also painted the living room, made new curtains for both the living and family room AND ripped out the carpet and refinished the stairs.
B. Garage - better organize the stuff in there and contact folks who have things stored there to make arrangements bout getting their things out. ---- Yeah that was a big old NOPE. Even with cutting down boxes, nothing happened on this front.
C. general organization/decluttering – I’m thinking the dumping grounds in the Florida Room and maybe the Dining Room --- I tackled the area in front of the one door for the Florida Room, but that only lasted a month and then I had to empty out the laundry room due to getting new appliances, and I haven’t returned to get that moved again. Dining room is actually worse as is the spare room and my bedroom. Even though I had the time due to unemployment, the depression made it hard to deal with the clutter.
7. Ashley Boxes - these bring me joy. I am already well on my way to done for the 2020 boxes --- I sent out three. They seemed well received. Luckily, I had most of the items already purchased on Black Friday and Boxing Day 2019 or I would not have been able to afford to do it.
8. Social – I need to continue to push myself into social situations. It would be nice if I were not the only one (or feel like it) being the impetuous for things happening but oh well. I will continue to organize monthly family dinners. And see about hosting a quarterly game night. --- Well Covid made hitting this more difficult and easier at the same time. But thanks to Zoom, Chosen Family gets together every two weeks to continue Friday Family Dinner (just virtually), and I have hosted a couple open chat/game nights via zoom. So I’ll call it a win even if it doesn’t feel like it so much.
9. Brain Weasels – continue to fight the self-doubt and self-recrimination that tells me others are only “humoring my company” and the like. --- Wow, this year was hard for this. Especially job hunting. It has been hard to not feel worthy. And then my friends come out of the woodwork and help me. I had to fight the Brain Weasels twice this year and admit I needed financial help. When Lily Rose was diagnosed with an almost always terminal illness, my friends came through and helped me raise the $3500 needed to get the experimental medicine for her. Thanks to them, my little girl is in remission and is currently healthy. I also admitted that I just could not go any longer without a working oven (it had been almost 8 years since it worked) and two barely functional burners. So I asked friends to help me finance getting a new oven instead of sending me Christmas Gifts (if they had planned on doing so). Not only did they come to my help, but they also funded a new stove AND a new microwave (which my old one was 30+ years old). And another friend came and helped me install it. When I start to doubt my place and worth to my friends, I now have points in time to point to and say, “Brain Weasels need to shut up.”
2021 to-do list
Health: Re-committing to getting healthy with the new year. I still want to lose weight not out of vanity but for better movement and breathing ability. My new planner has a goals section for each month and habit tracking. My plan is 15-30 minutes of exercise at least every other day, and at least 64oz. of water a day (if not a full gallon).
Employment: After spending most of 2020 unemployed, my goal is just to be employed. I started a new job at Thanksgiving and, if I’m being honest, I’m not happy. I spend 85% of my day bored out of my mind, waiting for my boss to call me to do some stupid task for him (push the button on the coffee maker next to his desk, order him a pair of shoes, etc.) and occasional type up a letter. For the job I’m being paid more than I should be, but I honestly feel like my skills are being wasted (and wasting away). So I will continue to look for something, but I will not look a gift horse in the mouth where I am.
Hobbies and Activities (not exercise or SCA related): I am still hoping to break my tendency to sit in my chair in front of the TV playing stupid games on my phone or tablet. So my goal is to do more of the following:
1. Reading I have several reading challenges again picked out for 2021. But I have found that I tend to gravitate to audiobooks for when I’m in the car and the like, instead of actually reading as much as I used to. So I’m setting a goal of physically reading a minimum of20 minutes daily.
2. Photos I have had fun the last couple years doing different “photo a day” challenges so I intend to keep that up.
3. Crochet I have one blanket started and a couple more planned, so I need to set a goal to work on them. I was reminded how much I actually like doing it when I did a roll the dice crochet along when quarantine first started.
4. Messy Art There is just something cathartic about pouring paint onto something and watching the results unfold. I intend to keep doing so. I may look into putting some up on ebay or etsy to both make a bit of $$ and to get pieces out of my house.
House: Once again looking to slowly make home improvements so here’s the goals
1. Garage: I really, really, really need to get the garage resorted, stuff out and gone. Need to reach out to people who have stuff stored in there to see if they still want the stuff and if so, when can they come get it. I also need to see about getting replacement door opener button thingies.
2. Dining Room: I want to replace the ancient and ugly curtains and to maybe reupholster the chairs. I have a paint color picked out but that’s going to be a while before that happens.
3. Family Room: I have the paint picked out. I want to paint the very dated paneling. After that I want to get the highboy dresser up out of the basement, refinished as needed and use it to replace the dead tv that is currently acting as a stand for the new tv.
4. Living Room: come summer, I want to take the curtains in the living room down and paint out the bay window area. I also want to use the same color to paint the one wall in the stairwell and the casement for the doorway between the living room and dining room.
5. Florida Room: get back to working to clean up and organize the room so I can maybe get the hospital bed and non-functioning electric wheelchair out and swap the computer desk out of my sister’s room and the Florida Room.
6. Upstairs Hall: I’d like to paint the walls (I have plenty of paint left from painting the living room in 2020) and pull out the orange rug from hell and refinish the floor like I did on the stairs.
Ashley Boxes: They make me happy. I have two already planned and may add another.
Social time: As much as current conditions allow, I’d like to keep up the attempt to be social. Be it through Zoom, Facebook video chat, and even social distancing in the back yard.
Brain Weasels: goal is to keep working on accepting that my Brain Weasels lie to me.
1. Health - I did pretty good last year so will aim to continue At least one sports bottle worth of water a day. Daily walking was a bust so I’m going to aim for 30 minutes 3 times a week. I would like to continue with the weight loss and to try to be a size smaller by Pennsic - not out of vanity but just because it would help me move and breathe better. --- Well I did some for a while. Was doing really good when I was unemployed over the summer. I had managed to maintain my weight and had lost inches. But then I stopped caring and gained back all plus some. As I have seen people call it – the COVID Nineteen. I am ending the year up 5 pounds from where I started so I guess I’ll take that as a kinda even all things considered. Also, my primary doctor retired so that sent me looking for a new PCP. Thanks to a recommendation from a friend, I found a new health care practice and had my initial intake with a new Nurse practitioner. So far I like her a lot. I also got in to see an OB-GYN again and he actually answered a few things that I didn’t know I wondered about until he brought it up. So again, a win.
2. Employment - goal is now 8 years. I like it here. ---- HAHAHAHAHAHA. No one saw this year coming and sadly because of the pandemic, my position was eliminated. My boss fought to keep me but even with 7.5 years there, I was low man on the admin totem pole. I spent the summer looking. Lots of interviews but in the end only one offer. I took it. I can’t say I’m happy here but it’s employment. So there is that.
3. Arts and Crafts
A. Turn the boxes and fabric in my garage converted into scroll cases. ----I cut down boxes but that’s as far as I got.
B. I found this year that I my creative need was deeply satisfied by participating in various “Photo-a-day” challenges. I will keep this up as I can. ---- This I kept up with. I found it fun and satisfying. A couple times my photos were picked for “photo of the day” by the FB groups I’m in.
C. Find another project to do with my hands that I can do when "just sitting": either get back into Crocheting, embroidery, or maybe actually reading. I spend too much time playing on the tablet and watching TV --- I completed one full crocheted blanket and started another. I also made close to 600 masks since March. I only read/listened to 80 books this year (low considering the time I have since I wasn’t working). I did still spend too much time just sitting/playing on my tablet. I also made over 130 messy art pieces; some I have sold to friends. And I made several new dresses and t-shirts for myself.
4. SCA
A. Scribal : I want to continue to try to find the joy again. I also need to work on the research project that I've started. --- Yeah that didn’t happen. I have only made maybe 5 scrolls this past year. I looked at my backlog list but that’s as far as I got. Not having regular courts has not helped this.
B. Mentor : Continue working with the two active protégé’s that I have to help them achieve their SCA dreams. --- I have remained in contact with my two official and active protégés, though SCA activities have mostly ground to a halt. In January I took an Un-Protégé and we chat often.
C. For myself : I need to stop trying to figure out what others want of me. Either tell me or stop expecting things. I’m tired of guessing. I also want to put together a bid for Kingdom 12th Night 2021 --- Because of the pandemic the bid for 12th Night didn’t happen. Nothing’s really happening right now. And I hate to admit it that I am not bothered by that at all. I remain in touch with those people who I can. But, actual SCA activities have paused.
5. Reading Challenge - I enjoy this challenge immensely and have already started several books for this year picked out. I completed the PopSugar challenge and did all but 4 categories for the Around the Year one. I did not read/listen to as much as I have in the past, but the fact that I got 80 books done is an accomplishment.
6. House: I need to be more realistic about my goals
A. Front Hall - still want to strip and paint ---After years of saying I was going to do it… I did! With my sister’s help we spent a weekend and stripped and repainted the hall. I also painted the living room, made new curtains for both the living and family room AND ripped out the carpet and refinished the stairs.
B. Garage - better organize the stuff in there and contact folks who have things stored there to make arrangements bout getting their things out. ---- Yeah that was a big old NOPE. Even with cutting down boxes, nothing happened on this front.
C. general organization/decluttering – I’m thinking the dumping grounds in the Florida Room and maybe the Dining Room --- I tackled the area in front of the one door for the Florida Room, but that only lasted a month and then I had to empty out the laundry room due to getting new appliances, and I haven’t returned to get that moved again. Dining room is actually worse as is the spare room and my bedroom. Even though I had the time due to unemployment, the depression made it hard to deal with the clutter.
7. Ashley Boxes - these bring me joy. I am already well on my way to done for the 2020 boxes --- I sent out three. They seemed well received. Luckily, I had most of the items already purchased on Black Friday and Boxing Day 2019 or I would not have been able to afford to do it.
8. Social – I need to continue to push myself into social situations. It would be nice if I were not the only one (or feel like it) being the impetuous for things happening but oh well. I will continue to organize monthly family dinners. And see about hosting a quarterly game night. --- Well Covid made hitting this more difficult and easier at the same time. But thanks to Zoom, Chosen Family gets together every two weeks to continue Friday Family Dinner (just virtually), and I have hosted a couple open chat/game nights via zoom. So I’ll call it a win even if it doesn’t feel like it so much.
9. Brain Weasels – continue to fight the self-doubt and self-recrimination that tells me others are only “humoring my company” and the like. --- Wow, this year was hard for this. Especially job hunting. It has been hard to not feel worthy. And then my friends come out of the woodwork and help me. I had to fight the Brain Weasels twice this year and admit I needed financial help. When Lily Rose was diagnosed with an almost always terminal illness, my friends came through and helped me raise the $3500 needed to get the experimental medicine for her. Thanks to them, my little girl is in remission and is currently healthy. I also admitted that I just could not go any longer without a working oven (it had been almost 8 years since it worked) and two barely functional burners. So I asked friends to help me finance getting a new oven instead of sending me Christmas Gifts (if they had planned on doing so). Not only did they come to my help, but they also funded a new stove AND a new microwave (which my old one was 30+ years old). And another friend came and helped me install it. When I start to doubt my place and worth to my friends, I now have points in time to point to and say, “Brain Weasels need to shut up.”
2021 to-do list
Health: Re-committing to getting healthy with the new year. I still want to lose weight not out of vanity but for better movement and breathing ability. My new planner has a goals section for each month and habit tracking. My plan is 15-30 minutes of exercise at least every other day, and at least 64oz. of water a day (if not a full gallon).
Employment: After spending most of 2020 unemployed, my goal is just to be employed. I started a new job at Thanksgiving and, if I’m being honest, I’m not happy. I spend 85% of my day bored out of my mind, waiting for my boss to call me to do some stupid task for him (push the button on the coffee maker next to his desk, order him a pair of shoes, etc.) and occasional type up a letter. For the job I’m being paid more than I should be, but I honestly feel like my skills are being wasted (and wasting away). So I will continue to look for something, but I will not look a gift horse in the mouth where I am.
Hobbies and Activities (not exercise or SCA related): I am still hoping to break my tendency to sit in my chair in front of the TV playing stupid games on my phone or tablet. So my goal is to do more of the following:
1. Reading I have several reading challenges again picked out for 2021. But I have found that I tend to gravitate to audiobooks for when I’m in the car and the like, instead of actually reading as much as I used to. So I’m setting a goal of physically reading a minimum of20 minutes daily.
2. Photos I have had fun the last couple years doing different “photo a day” challenges so I intend to keep that up.
3. Crochet I have one blanket started and a couple more planned, so I need to set a goal to work on them. I was reminded how much I actually like doing it when I did a roll the dice crochet along when quarantine first started.
4. Messy Art There is just something cathartic about pouring paint onto something and watching the results unfold. I intend to keep doing so. I may look into putting some up on ebay or etsy to both make a bit of $$ and to get pieces out of my house.
House: Once again looking to slowly make home improvements so here’s the goals
1. Garage: I really, really, really need to get the garage resorted, stuff out and gone. Need to reach out to people who have stuff stored in there to see if they still want the stuff and if so, when can they come get it. I also need to see about getting replacement door opener button thingies.
2. Dining Room: I want to replace the ancient and ugly curtains and to maybe reupholster the chairs. I have a paint color picked out but that’s going to be a while before that happens.
3. Family Room: I have the paint picked out. I want to paint the very dated paneling. After that I want to get the highboy dresser up out of the basement, refinished as needed and use it to replace the dead tv that is currently acting as a stand for the new tv.
4. Living Room: come summer, I want to take the curtains in the living room down and paint out the bay window area. I also want to use the same color to paint the one wall in the stairwell and the casement for the doorway between the living room and dining room.
5. Florida Room: get back to working to clean up and organize the room so I can maybe get the hospital bed and non-functioning electric wheelchair out and swap the computer desk out of my sister’s room and the Florida Room.
6. Upstairs Hall: I’d like to paint the walls (I have plenty of paint left from painting the living room in 2020) and pull out the orange rug from hell and refinish the floor like I did on the stairs.
Ashley Boxes: They make me happy. I have two already planned and may add another.
Social time: As much as current conditions allow, I’d like to keep up the attempt to be social. Be it through Zoom, Facebook video chat, and even social distancing in the back yard.
Brain Weasels: goal is to keep working on accepting that my Brain Weasels lie to me.
