futher updates

[baronessekat]

Today started with work. I lost count of how many times I got asked why I was there. *sigh* Let me have a small part of normal in a very un-normal time please.

I'm also getting tired of being second guessed when I say what the plan is for my mother. Not only from complete strangers but from members of the family in distant parts of the country. do you really think I want my mother to die? Do you really see me and my sister as so morbid that we want to kill her? We know what she would have wanted.

I spoke today with the family lawyer and got some questions answered. And reassured that things we have done is exactly what we should be doing.

Tomorrow at 2 we meet with the funeral director to per-arrange things. Then tomorrow night we will go and sign the paperwork to have mom removed from the ventilator. It is a hard decision but the right one.

She might surprise us and not pass until Thursday. Terri and I have a great grandfather on our father's side that was born on June 2nd, married on June 2nd and died on June 2nd. Mom always thought that was funny. And we wouldn't be surprised given her sense of humor if she held out to at least have nice neat birth and death the same.

We did go and see mom today for the noon visiting hours. Her blood pressure was really low today. They had to change the type of sedation she is on and had to give her close to 3 liters of fluids to get it up. by the time we left they had gotten her BP stablized at around 117/60.

We also asked the hospital chaplin (Father Butch) come and say a prayer with us. I didn't realized how much I needed that. It feels like a big weight is lifted between just saying the prayer and making the decision.

Tonight is kinda low key. Terri is at mom's house working on her master's thesis (in theory) and looking for paperwork that the lawyer said we will need.

I plan on trying to find my wayward wallet. I do not need to go through the hastle of replacing my DL and debit card and stuff on top of all this.

That's about it for now.

Feel free to call Dicea for more updates and details.

Comments

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

If it helps, I think you are making the best choice you could. It's a difficult horrible situation and I think you are making good decisions.

Also, if I was in that situation I would want my family to do the same.

[patrikia.livejournal.com]

Ditto. We still hold you, your sister, and your mom in our thoughts.

[annaeisenkopf.livejournal.com]

double ditto!!!!

[deadised.livejournal.com]

Triple ditto. People who "question" you are doing so for their own selfish reasons, not because they know what is best for you or for your mom. I hate it when people are so selfish that they will keep someone alive, against their wishes, just so that they don't have to say goodbye... or out of some misguided impression that somehow their choices are better or should matter. I'm PROUD of you and how you are seemingly dealing with this. When the time comes (if it does) that you have to go somewhere to fall apart and take care of you, know that there are people out here who will be there to hold you up.

[hearne.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna make my "me too!" nice and loud and public. You are there, you know HER, HER wishes and HER needs. That's what matters. There is no greater demonstration of your love for her than to do exactly as she wishes, even though you feel it deep within you. She trusts you, and this is your gift to her. Don't let any doubt get in your way of doing what you *know* to be right.

Like the guy in the tactical gear says.. there are many places of support and strength and sanctuary, and you know where each of them are. Take what you need when you need it. You be there for her.. we're all here for you.

[swordandmug.livejournal.com]

My thoughts are with you.

[unique_name_123]

No one can know better than you and your sister what is right. My thoughts are with you both.

[matthew-g.livejournal.com]

*hug* I hope the night is the low key thing you need. I'm glad you have the local support that you can lean on. If we can do anything, let us know.

[ladybriant.livejournal.com]

I echo what everyone else has said.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family.

[ostgardraine.livejournal.com]

You have my support as well T,

big hugs

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

Not that my opinion counts, but there is no doubt in my mind that you are making the only possible decision given that none of the three options involved your mother leading a happy productive life. You, Terri and your mother know what you had discussed. No one should second guess a decision made by people of sound mind and body at the time.