The deep darkness
Dec. 29th, 2005 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatIt sits lurking, waiting ever so patiently for you to come back to it. But because of its nature you don't notice, nor remember the lasts time it came calling.
Maybe you can catch a glimpse of it on the edge of your awareness. Like the forgotten caress of a long gone lover. The feeling is haunting and very familiar.
After a while it lets you begin to feel its presence. Gently pulling you towards it. Enticing, teasing, but never ever demanding. Why demand what it will get in the end. The result is inevitable.
You might try to resist. Push it away for a while. Ignore it. Keep going with the day to day of existance.
But it waits, as if knowing that resistance is futile. You will give in after a fashion. You will surrender and submit
When the opening comes, it insinuates and ingratiates. Whispering words you can't understand but can comprehend in your heart.
It is only you and you alone that it wants. Nobody else wants you. No one else can see you the way it does.
You are the most important thing in the world to it. Because without you, it would shrivel and fade.
Once you give it a foothold it sinks in with claws and teeth. You belong to it now. With smooth words and gentle sensations it manipulates you. You begin to really believe that it will not go away. But that's ok. Because it needs you. And without it, you could not see the world and others for the way they really are. Uncaring, inconsiderate, not worth the trouble or bother of anymore.
Nothing matters but you and it.
Nothing matters.
With it in your life you turn your back on the world. Friends don't matter because you have it. Food is not worth it. Work... why waste the energy?
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters
Nothing matters at all.
Maybe you can catch a glimpse of it on the edge of your awareness. Like the forgotten caress of a long gone lover. The feeling is haunting and very familiar.
After a while it lets you begin to feel its presence. Gently pulling you towards it. Enticing, teasing, but never ever demanding. Why demand what it will get in the end. The result is inevitable.
You might try to resist. Push it away for a while. Ignore it. Keep going with the day to day of existance.
But it waits, as if knowing that resistance is futile. You will give in after a fashion. You will surrender and submit
When the opening comes, it insinuates and ingratiates. Whispering words you can't understand but can comprehend in your heart.
It is only you and you alone that it wants. Nobody else wants you. No one else can see you the way it does.
You are the most important thing in the world to it. Because without you, it would shrivel and fade.
Once you give it a foothold it sinks in with claws and teeth. You belong to it now. With smooth words and gentle sensations it manipulates you. You begin to really believe that it will not go away. But that's ok. Because it needs you. And without it, you could not see the world and others for the way they really are. Uncaring, inconsiderate, not worth the trouble or bother of anymore.
Nothing matters but you and it.
Nothing matters.
With it in your life you turn your back on the world. Friends don't matter because you have it. Food is not worth it. Work... why waste the energy?
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters
Nothing matters at all.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-29 04:31 pm (UTC)You OK?
Uh, Ekat? Dude?
Date: 2005-12-30 07:00 am (UTC)As a piece of poetry/prose, this is a beautiful piece, but as a human being, it leads me to worry about you. My brain went through a laundry list different things that would fit the description in this piece, and none of them were positive... mental illness, depression, drug addiction, alcoholism...
Maybe I'm way off base, and I'm just thinking all in negative because that's my own darkness, but...
OK, it's none of my business. None of it. But I hope you're OK. If you need somebody to talk to, I'm here.
-Portia
Re: Uh, Ekat? Dude?
Date: 2005-12-30 07:05 pm (UTC)Holy conclusion jumping, Batman!
That was and awesome descriptive narrative on the darkness of the season. But it would take a lot more like it on a regular basis to start bringing up syndromes and disorders.
Having off days is part of being alive. Having winters is part of living as a northerner. Thank goodness for forums like LJ so we can write things and realize what's getting us down.
I think we're all going to have to visit the tanning salon tomorow.
I didn't realize that I was getting seasonally down before I read this, thanks Ekat!