Ashly. Boxes. Advent

[baronessekat]

While I was not as close to her as many, she was good for always saying the right thing when I was feeling down. And once, right about this time of year, I was lucky enough to receive an Ashley box.

Ash had this knack of knowing when someone needed a boost and sending a gift.

Then, last year, she was killed in a tragic car accident while heading to her hotel on a much looked forward to vacation get away. While I do not cry for her, I do feel her absence and notice the hole her passing left in the universe.

Over on facebook, a bunch of her friends started a page called "Ashley boxes" to encourage others to keep up the tradition that Ashley started.

Then last year at Christmas time, I learned of a family tradition that Captain Æthelmearc had... an advent box. One member of the family sent another member a box with 24 little gifts (no more than $5 a gift) for them to open each day starting on December 1st. I loved that idea and thought it would be great for an Ashley Box. And since I send a Channukah box to sabriel_0405 for several years, another box worked just fine.

I had a good idea even then on who the first recipient would be. So starting on Boxing Day, I started collecting little items and would keep picking up items throughout the year as I saw things that I thought would work well for the AAB. I got both fun and practical, silly and useful – all things that to me very much represented Ash. As the year progressed, I realized that I had been buying duplicate items and if I kept it up I would have enough little gifts for at least two boxes. Once I realized that, I knew exactly who the second box was for.

For my first attempts at Ashley Advent Boxes, I chose the recipients to be two ladies who knew Ashley personally and had had a rough year.

I included the following laminated note with each box:

”Ashley Fraser was a generous soul, someone with a heart so big she needed to share...and she had a knack for knowing when someone needed a boost, and for knowing what would make them smile. She understood the value of unexpected kindness. On September 25, 2014, Ashley was tragically taken from this world.

However, the shining example she set for us did not pass away with her. Accept this in the spirit of Ashley: you received it because another person in this world values you, and wants you to know.

This box contains one small gift for you to open every night, starting on December 1st and ending on December 24th.

If you would like to help keep this tradition going, please consider passing on an Ashley Advent Box next year.

The rules are simple. 1) Send to someone, other than the one who sent it to you, that you feel needs a smile. 2) Consider spending no more than $5 per gift. 3) Include this note in your Ashley box so others know the meaning behind it.”

I got the gifts wrapped up, boxed up and mailed out so they arrived before Thanksgiving (as I was going to be traveling over the holiday and I wanted to make sure the boxes got to their destinations before the 1st).

I heard from both ladies that they received their boxes and agreed to chronicle their journey through their boxes as they opened each gift. I felt like a little kid at Christmas as I waited for the first of December and the first reports. See, as much as I like getting gifts, I love giving them more. In my family love was expressed in one of two ways… food or money (usually in the form of a present). My father was big on the later. If you asked for an item, he would find something like it only MORE because more money = better in his world. And I admit that I inherited that from him. Only I learned to temper it with “listen to what they want/need/ask for” that was my mother’s philosophy. I lost count of the number of times my mother would return a gift he got her because, while it was more expensive, it was not what she wanted and how once I was around 9 years old, him being told he had to take me with him when he went present shopping for Mom, because I knew what she would like and could talk him out of buying the “godawefulwhatwereyouthinking ugly thing” and into something either pretty, useful or both.

So now, every morning, I log into Facebook to see if the ladies have opened the day’s gift and what they opened and if they liked it. I am also enjoying seeing other people’s reactions to this adventure and saying that they are going to take it up as well. Both recipients have also said they will keep the AAB alive and send at least one out next year. And I have already started collecting for the two boxes I will send out next year (even have the recipients picked out… one is someone who did not know Ashley, but I think would very much appreciate the endeavor).

This experience for me has made me think more of a lost friend, pay attention to those around me and notice when someone needs a pick-me-up, and every day watch two people dear to me have a moment just for them and know that someone care for them, and hopefully makes them smile.

I look forward to continuing this tradition for many more years. And while it would be nice to one day receive a Ashley Advent Box, I take delight in knowing that sending them to others would make Ash smile.

Comments

[cypherindigo.livejournal.com]

Because of you, dear Sister of my Heart, in what has usually been one of the worst months of the year, my days always start with a smile ... and sometimes a giggle. (The butt on the little devil bottle opener is so cute, it just makes me giggle.)

Will you be going to AE 12th night? It is close to me, so I am thinking about going.

Love you.

[baronessekat.livejournal.com]

I will be going to that event. I have only missed 2 kingdom 12th nights in 22 years. I consider it my SCA Anniversary, as that was the event that I finally decided I really did like this crazy bunch of weirdos.

I'm glad you are enjoying the box.

[hildakrista.livejournal.com]

love this

[baronessekat.livejournal.com]

feel free to take the concept and make it, or a variation, yours. I know one person who was going to so a 12 days of Christmas box.

I have had several people ask me for copies of the laminated note I put in the box and if you want it as well, I can send it to you.