I feel bad for feeling somewhat happy
Jan. 25th, 2018 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatThis has been a trying month for many of my friends. One of my scribes (I will always consider them my scribes if they worked for me while I was Signet) lost her husband this week. I have lost count of the number of friends who have lost furry members of their family lately.
I sit, feeling impotent as a dear friend grieves heavily for the loss of her Shadow of Doom, knowing that a border separates us and even if I could be there, there is nothing I could really do.
But then I look at my own fur family. The Dowager Empress' tumor has grown. But, she's moving around good, demanding snuggles and more importantly... being vocal about demanding food. She had lost a great deal of weight in December, as she was refusing to eat canned cat food and the kibble was starting to prove too difficult. But then I picked up a jar of baby food... just chicken, and she LOVED it. She ate the entire jar in one go.
So every day she's been eating one to one and a half jars of meat baby food. Her preference is chicken or turkey. She doesn't seem to mind the ham and is only so-so on beef. But as long as it's straight meat and not meat and veggie combo, she happily and loudly slurps it up. She's actually gained back some of the weight she lost in December.
I know it still is only a matter of time before I have to make the call, but she does not appear in pain, she let's me touch the tumor area under her chin, and the huge amounts of drooling has eased up some. So I continue to move forward, spending huge amounts on baby food because she'll eat it, and cherish what time I have with her.
But I still feel bad that I'm ok, where my friends and chosen family are hurting.
I sit, feeling impotent as a dear friend grieves heavily for the loss of her Shadow of Doom, knowing that a border separates us and even if I could be there, there is nothing I could really do.
But then I look at my own fur family. The Dowager Empress' tumor has grown. But, she's moving around good, demanding snuggles and more importantly... being vocal about demanding food. She had lost a great deal of weight in December, as she was refusing to eat canned cat food and the kibble was starting to prove too difficult. But then I picked up a jar of baby food... just chicken, and she LOVED it. She ate the entire jar in one go.
So every day she's been eating one to one and a half jars of meat baby food. Her preference is chicken or turkey. She doesn't seem to mind the ham and is only so-so on beef. But as long as it's straight meat and not meat and veggie combo, she happily and loudly slurps it up. She's actually gained back some of the weight she lost in December.
I know it still is only a matter of time before I have to make the call, but she does not appear in pain, she let's me touch the tumor area under her chin, and the huge amounts of drooling has eased up some. So I continue to move forward, spending huge amounts on baby food because she'll eat it, and cherish what time I have with her.
But I still feel bad that I'm ok, where my friends and chosen family are hurting.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-25 07:08 pm (UTC)I am glad the baby food is working out well. Brigit's Old Man lived another two years when she started feeding him baby food. It was a blessing.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-26 01:14 pm (UTC)What is happening to other people is not your fault. It just is.