Hard choices
Feb. 27th, 2018 03:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatThis weekend I finally made myself do some thinking in regards to my little girl. She's still really snuggly, even if that means she drools all over you. She's vocally demanding of her baby food (though she won't stand up for herself when Puck pushes his way in, which causes me to have to stand over feeding time).
But I see the writing on the walls. She's getting skinnier, despite all the baby food she eats. She drool is almost constant. She's worn away a bit of fur on her chin from the constant grooming due to the drooling. And her breath, which was never that good, is getting worse.
I have given myself two different Saturdays to say goodbye. It will either be April 7th or May 5th. I honestly will be surprised if she makes it to May, but that is the latest. April would make it 5 months since diagnosis. May would be 6 months.
I feel like a bad kitty Momma when I say that I have a final day for her 2 months into the future. But I have to be realistic. April 21st I step up as Voice of the Crown Herald. That is a job with a LOT of weekend traveling. I just cannot see asking friends and neighbors to come in on weekends, several times a day to feed my sick and dying cat. April 28th weekend is Blackstone Raids, and Julie and Patrick have said they would be happy to go spend time with her and feed her while I"m gone for the 3 day weekend. But after that...
May 5th I"m home. Then after that is crown weekend (another leave after work on Friday and not get home until sometime Sunday) and then War Practice (leaving Friday morning and not coming back until late Sunday - and all my SCAdian options for pet care are going to be at the event.)
I have to be practical. If she even makes it through March and April, I cannot do it to her or my people circle. I can wish all I want that this was not happening, but it is and I have to do what is right by her and by me.
But I see the writing on the walls. She's getting skinnier, despite all the baby food she eats. She drool is almost constant. She's worn away a bit of fur on her chin from the constant grooming due to the drooling. And her breath, which was never that good, is getting worse.
I have given myself two different Saturdays to say goodbye. It will either be April 7th or May 5th. I honestly will be surprised if she makes it to May, but that is the latest. April would make it 5 months since diagnosis. May would be 6 months.
I feel like a bad kitty Momma when I say that I have a final day for her 2 months into the future. But I have to be realistic. April 21st I step up as Voice of the Crown Herald. That is a job with a LOT of weekend traveling. I just cannot see asking friends and neighbors to come in on weekends, several times a day to feed my sick and dying cat. April 28th weekend is Blackstone Raids, and Julie and Patrick have said they would be happy to go spend time with her and feed her while I"m gone for the 3 day weekend. But after that...
May 5th I"m home. Then after that is crown weekend (another leave after work on Friday and not get home until sometime Sunday) and then War Practice (leaving Friday morning and not coming back until late Sunday - and all my SCAdian options for pet care are going to be at the event.)
I have to be practical. If she even makes it through March and April, I cannot do it to her or my people circle. I can wish all I want that this was not happening, but it is and I have to do what is right by her and by me.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-27 09:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-28 07:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-01 01:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-04 04:07 pm (UTC)Getting old sucks. You want to do what is best for them and for you.
Kristina is dealing with similar issues - losing weight, hard to walk, getting lost, and stuck in the house. I can't Kristina proof the house and I can't confine her to any particular area. Her time is quickly running out too.