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baronessekatI'm tired of the depression. It's getting worse and hitting harder. It's taking more and more energy to "put on the happy, nothing's wrong" face when I deal with anyone.
The stupidest things are setting me off onto a downward spiral.
Boo and Boogie were so wonderful yesterday to help me get out of one of the spirals and it meant a lot that they were there to help talk me out.
But, the depression is still there.
Part of me is starting to think of calling my PCP and ask for something. But part of me sees that as defeat. I've gotten myself out of depressions before.
I'm also leary as I saw the effects of antidepressants on my mother. I wish I could remember what one she was on, but the side effects for her were rather nasty and I don't want to deal with that.
Part of me wishes I still worked at CPEP. At least there I worked with Psychiatrists and could ask them for suggestions. Maybe I'll send an email to my old Boss and ask him for advice.
Or wait and see if Pennsic will be the attitude reboot I need.
I probably should call the PCP anyway just to get something for the asthma. I'm hitting the inhalor at least 4 times a day the last week and a half. I"m sure all the steroids I'm shooting into my system aren't helping the depression any.
It would just be nicer to crawl into a corner, dwell in the depression and loneliness and avoid the world. Unfortunately that won't pay the bills.
The stupidest things are setting me off onto a downward spiral.
Boo and Boogie were so wonderful yesterday to help me get out of one of the spirals and it meant a lot that they were there to help talk me out.
But, the depression is still there.
Part of me is starting to think of calling my PCP and ask for something. But part of me sees that as defeat. I've gotten myself out of depressions before.
I'm also leary as I saw the effects of antidepressants on my mother. I wish I could remember what one she was on, but the side effects for her were rather nasty and I don't want to deal with that.
Part of me wishes I still worked at CPEP. At least there I worked with Psychiatrists and could ask them for suggestions. Maybe I'll send an email to my old Boss and ask him for advice.
Or wait and see if Pennsic will be the attitude reboot I need.
I probably should call the PCP anyway just to get something for the asthma. I'm hitting the inhalor at least 4 times a day the last week and a half. I"m sure all the steroids I'm shooting into my system aren't helping the depression any.
It would just be nicer to crawl into a corner, dwell in the depression and loneliness and avoid the world. Unfortunately that won't pay the bills.
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Date: 2007-07-16 12:26 pm (UTC)On top of that you are making a massive move, which is also traumatic. It'd be a wonder if you /weren't/ a bit blue! Do as you say above, but also try to do a bit more for you; you time in whatever way you prefer. Get the last bits out of your apt, sure, but also take some time out of the Doma refurb to relax and stare at the TV with your gals. Come to Toronto in Sept and we'll do the zoo, and maybe High Tea and the King Edward Hotel, which is veddy veddy and they have cute waiters.
Pennsic will help.