![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baronessekatI'm tired of the depression. It's getting worse and hitting harder. It's taking more and more energy to "put on the happy, nothing's wrong" face when I deal with anyone.
The stupidest things are setting me off onto a downward spiral.
Boo and Boogie were so wonderful yesterday to help me get out of one of the spirals and it meant a lot that they were there to help talk me out.
But, the depression is still there.
Part of me is starting to think of calling my PCP and ask for something. But part of me sees that as defeat. I've gotten myself out of depressions before.
I'm also leary as I saw the effects of antidepressants on my mother. I wish I could remember what one she was on, but the side effects for her were rather nasty and I don't want to deal with that.
Part of me wishes I still worked at CPEP. At least there I worked with Psychiatrists and could ask them for suggestions. Maybe I'll send an email to my old Boss and ask him for advice.
Or wait and see if Pennsic will be the attitude reboot I need.
I probably should call the PCP anyway just to get something for the asthma. I'm hitting the inhalor at least 4 times a day the last week and a half. I"m sure all the steroids I'm shooting into my system aren't helping the depression any.
It would just be nicer to crawl into a corner, dwell in the depression and loneliness and avoid the world. Unfortunately that won't pay the bills.
The stupidest things are setting me off onto a downward spiral.
Boo and Boogie were so wonderful yesterday to help me get out of one of the spirals and it meant a lot that they were there to help talk me out.
But, the depression is still there.
Part of me is starting to think of calling my PCP and ask for something. But part of me sees that as defeat. I've gotten myself out of depressions before.
I'm also leary as I saw the effects of antidepressants on my mother. I wish I could remember what one she was on, but the side effects for her were rather nasty and I don't want to deal with that.
Part of me wishes I still worked at CPEP. At least there I worked with Psychiatrists and could ask them for suggestions. Maybe I'll send an email to my old Boss and ask him for advice.
Or wait and see if Pennsic will be the attitude reboot I need.
I probably should call the PCP anyway just to get something for the asthma. I'm hitting the inhalor at least 4 times a day the last week and a half. I"m sure all the steroids I'm shooting into my system aren't helping the depression any.
It would just be nicer to crawl into a corner, dwell in the depression and loneliness and avoid the world. Unfortunately that won't pay the bills.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 02:05 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear you are in a dark place.
Definitely call your PCP, the steroids are probably not helping things.
From one who has been there...
reach out to your old boss,as getting advice from someone you trust is a good place to begin; one of the things that helped me when I as at my worse a few months back was talking with a friend of mine who is a therapist and getting his opinion on my depression and his take on meds and therapy.
I have been on Wellbutrin and talk therapy for a few months now and I am doing well, the Wellbutrin hasn't left me feeling "medicated" or messed with my empathy, it just makes the downs not so far down, and the therapy helps me because it's one place where I can talk it all out (something I need) without fear of judgment or that I am being a bother.
I am here if you want to talk.....
Love you