Enough

[baronessekat]

I'm officially asking folks that if you have anything more in regards to my last post, unless it has something to do with the actual topic of the rant and not my choice of phrases, please stop. Take the conversations to your own journals, emails or private messages.

Of the 45 comments only 7 actually dealt with the topic of the rant - that not properly approaching a dog, without owner permission, can be dangerous either for the child or the dog or both.

I am not going to apologize for my choice of words in my journal or in a note on my facebook page. Yes I titled both as Dear Friends with Children. But if you chose to read it, if you chose to take offense at a choice of language that I CONSCIOUSLY made in a rant, I cannot take responsibility. I will not take ownership of another persons feelings. As has been said, don't like, don't read. I do not ask for anyone to read my writings. But at the same time, I will not start locking every post. If there is something that I feel strongly about that feel should only be read by certain eyes, I am capable of using a filter or - contacting those people in a less public forum.

Only one person directed their objection to the phrase directly to me. But not one person contacted me, either through comments or privately to ask why I chose it, was I aware that it is offensive, or anything else. Do I mean that phrase to refer to all members of that age group, a specific subgroup, etc. And at this point, the situation has gotten out of hand and I will not answer those question in a public forum. There are ways to get a hold of me. Most have my email addresses. If you don't, both LJ and FB have the ability to send private messages. Hell, some of even have my phone number and/or know where I live.

But I do have to wonder one small thing. Was the offense because of the words or because they came from me. Seriously. I have friends that HAVE used that phrase before (thus, where I got it) and no one has raised anywhere near this kind of fuss. Did I offend more because I broke some preconceived norm for "Ekat"?

Anyway, I ask again, unless the response is in direct relationship to the actual topic, please stop commenting on the last post.

Comments

About that phrasing...

[3fgburner.livejournal.com]

... I snickered. And filed it for future use. My wife generally uses "spawn". She's also been known to quote a line of Poul Anderson's: [context: cute furry alien on public transport, snarling at a mother whose toddler wants to pet her] "Why don't you eat your young?".

[patrikia.livejournal.com]

I actually kept meaning to post yesterday about the actual rant - thinking that the folks with kids who are out of control around dogs would be the first ones to sue you if your little guy bit them after they approached him inappropriately, and especially after being warned. Where they say, "My kid can pet your dog if he wants to!", your response could easily be, "Well, then, my dog can BITE your kid if HE wants to!" :-)

Sillyviking (who adores dogs and will often ask to be able to pet them on the street, in lieu of actually having one) once was badly bitten on his hand by a dog in our old neighborhood AFTER he asked permission and extended his hand to the dog for an introductory sniff. Since the owner had warned him that the dog was a 'biter', sillyviking said it was his own fault for taking the risk of trying to be friends. And that was that.

[papaboris.livejournal.com]

you go girl, support you all the way. As a Father and Grandfather I often use worse when talking about kids,especially wild ones.
As the owner of a service dog who wears a labeled vest I have plenty of stories to tell of Idiots [big and small] who live in their own little world. Believe me,I understand

[damedini.livejournal.com]

Having gone back and read comments:
Oh dear. I found the phrase in question amusing. I also know precisely the children you mean and REALLY wish their parents had found a different hobby/accessory.

[hugh-mannity.livejournal.com]

Accessory.

Hobbies usually involve an investment of time and effort... oh... wait... they're not the objective of the hobby, more of an unwanted side effect... My bad.

I can see why there's so much bad parenting about, even being a reasonably competent parent is a 24/7 job with no time off for good behaviour. In fact you probably get additional time if you do it well because they go to gradual school and you're still taking care of them then! Also, if you have more than one, you're outnumbered.

But yea, I taught mine not to approach strange creatures of any flavour without explict permission every time.

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

I read that was hobby = SCA.

I could be mistaken.

[stitchwhich.livejournal.com]

Was the offense because of the words or because they came from me. Seriously. I have friends that HAVE used that phrase before (thus, where I got it) and no one has raised anywhere near this kind of fuss. Did I offend more because I broke some preconceived norm for "Ekat"?

I find the phrase vulgar and offensive (something rare in an Ex-Sailor!) - I was a bit surprised that you used it but figured that you got it from somewhere. The fact that it was you didn't really ping so much as the jarring of the phrase itself. The only other time I've read it has been in half-coherent vitriol posted by rabid child-haters and I know that is not you! In my world, the use of the phrase would have denoted someone of very low class. Obviously, that does not hold true in other parts of the world as you are not in that catagory.

[baronessekat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I really appreciate the honesty of the reply

[stitchwhich.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't reply on your previous post about kids and pets because all I could add was a "me too!". Heck, aults and pets - especially dogs. I have seen the most mild-mannered dog turn into a snapper/biter thanks to circumstances... and "protecting their owner" is one that is deeply ingrained in most breeds. So folks who stick their hands in the personal space of a dog get what they deserve. Unfortunately, the dog doesn't afterward.

When my eldest was in kindergarten he tried to pet a dog in the apartment across the street's patio. It was fenced in AND posted "Beware of dog. But the boy had to try anyway and he got bit. We (dog owner & I) called the authorities (because it was witnessed) and when the cop got there, my son interrupted the adults to tell the man that the dog was not at fault. He'd seen the sign and trespassed and got what he deserved. As mad at him as I was for what he'd done, I was very proud at that moment that he understood he'd broken rules, he took responsibility, and his major concern was that the dog not be punished. It wasn't - shots were up to date and we declined (of course) to press any action so everything was fine.

[hora-somni.livejournal.com]

Well, I think you're awesome anyway, but you are awesome-er for introducing me to a hilarious new phrase.

Oh, and on the original subject; you should see how dumb people can be around horses. True story: We were at a fair with The Stallion and while trying to put him back on the trailer he completely unglued. Screaming, bucking, kicking, the whole bit. There were three of us hanging onto his head trying to get him under control while not getting killed. So a couple with three little kids crossed the barrier markers, walked right up to us, and wanted to "pet the pony". Seriously, those kids could have been killed.

[(Anonymous)]

As both a parent and dog owner I deal with both sides. While my dog isn't small he's very fuzzy and everyone wants to pet him very few ask. I tell those who don't ask "no" adult or child. My child had to be taught that just because our dogs don't need his permission others do. I find I dislike people of all ages who can't be respectful.

[campagnella.livejournal.com]

Sorry didn't realise I wasn't logged in :-(

[unique_name_123]

Without reference to the specific phrase, I see both here and in your FB post that you shouldn't have to take responsibility for the feelings of others if they choose to be offended. So are you and the others posting saying that you may say anything you wish and it is the listener's fault if they are offended? Or is this time special because it was a rant in a journal forum and not some other sort of communication?

[wldrose.livejournal.com]

OYE

I dont know you well enough to know if you like hugs but how about a handshake and a pat on the arm?

ash

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

I find the phrase offensive.

I have been finding a lot of things offensive lately.

I would have found it offensive no matter how it was intended -- by anyone.

It had *nothing* to do with who used it.

I never really even thought about who was using it, and no, it had nothing to do with you as a person.

And I should not have mentioned my feeling about it in your LJ.

If it bothered me that much, I should have said something privately.

But then someone commented on it in a positive way, and I got stupid.

In past cases, where someone has used it or an alternative that's equally -- maybe more -- offensive, I *have said something.