A Glimpse into my mind

I forgot my sneakers yesterday so I did not get on the treadmill for an hour at the gym before meeting Captain Æthelmearc for a swim.

So... instead I took care of a couple quick errands then went to the gym and got into the pool 1/2 hour before she and I were supposed to meet.

I did twenty minutes of moderate treading of water then leisurely swimming both before she got there and after. So for a total of almost 2 hrs of pool time.

I did pack my sneakers today so I could go and do machine work at the gym today. Probably treadmill but maybe the bike. I also need to see what the classes besides aquafit available are. I keep toying with trying the beginner spin or maybe the zumba.

But it's all a step forward. And each journey starts with just a step.

Weigh in this morning was disappointing, but not unexpected. I've been really slack the last couple weeks with the whole "eat what I crave" and "I'll go to the gym tomorrow" mentality. And I know some of this really is Mother Nature f'ing with my cycle so I'm retaining water like a camel, but still

I've gained 4 since the end of the competition at work (which my team won, BTW). and we are soon to be starting a "Maintain don't Gain" competition over the holidays. I know I can't complain in the overall picture as I"m still down 31 lbs since I started but I want to be further.

My goal is still 22 lbs away.

So starting today I'm back to tracking as best I can and trying to not talk myself out going to the gym. Even if it's only for 20 minutes, that's still 20 minutes of getting my heart rate up. And I really need to get back to doing the stuff my trainer gave me to do at home as there is very little that I can only do at the gym.

I stopped shaking about two hours ago. I'm still a little spacey and having a little bit of trouble focusing but otherwise I'm good.

The girls kidnapped me shortly after the shaking started and kept me with them all evening to make sure I didn't have any other side effects. The shaking is actually not that surprising. Whenever I have a chemical change in my system (this includes naturally produced endorphines) my body shakes. (yes let me tell you that freaks out a new lover toot sweet if I forget to warn ahead of time). So the fact that I shook for several hours due to a forgein brain chemical modifier is not shocking at all.

But the girls did let me rest but not over rest. Dicea kept doing coordination tests with me and made me hydrate so much I had to get up to pee every 10 minutes.

But I am home now, with my copy of HP and a sinful ice cream from Andersons. Soft Serve Butter Rum/Vanilla swirl.

I'm going to go transfer laundry over and eat my ice cream and go to bed early.

Moo everyone

So this morning at 9:30 I call my PCP to see if I can get a medication adjustment for my breathing. I tell the receptionist that I don't know if she can call something in or if she wants to see me. It would make sense to me if she wanted to see me since a) we are talking asthma and breathing issues and b) I haven't had a check up in almost 2 years.

I get put on hold while said receptionist consults with the MD. She comes back "is Dr. H the only one you see for your asthma?" "Yes" muffled mumbling. "She wants to talk to you and will call you. Can I have a number she can reach you at?" I give my work number.

So now I sit in limbo waiting for her to call. I know she has a busy practice and I know she keeps weird office hours so who knows when I will hear from her. It will be my luck that she does phone calls at like 10pmand will try calling me then.

Oh well. Step one was made.

1. Make sure you have a a health care proxy on life with your PCP or lawyer.
2. Make sure family/friends/etc know where the F your life insurance policy is. If you don't tell them, at least keep it in a fairly obvious place, such as strong box with your will and other important documents.

Number two is the current stress at the moment.

Terri and I went and had our meeting with the funeral director and have taken care of everything we can for now. The issue will be the roughly $7,000 that the funeral will cost. Normally you would have the life insurance take care of it. Mom swore up and down to me and Terri that she had life insurance. But we haven't been able to find the policy or any reference to one. We found the insurance policies on ourselves, and the references to the one our father had, but NOTHING for mom.

Unfortunately the funeral home will not wait for the estate to clear. If we can't find the insurance policy, we may have to go to our Aunt and Uncle and maybe paternal grandparents and ask for a loan to be paid back when the estate clears. Which can take up to 18 months according to the funeral director.

Let me tell you... this sucks.

We leave in roughly half and hour to head back to the hospital to take mom off the respirator. I signed the DNR paperwork earlier this afternoon. Yes, I know she may yet linger for days after. And the resident on duty did say that by agreeing to donate organs, it may take longer as well deending on how long it tkes transplant teams to get there and harvest.

Anyway, just needed to vent about the frustration with not finding the policy.

More updates later

To add to dicea's post ( Read more... )

For those who did not see dicea's post, ( the news )

But I ask all of my friends, if you have not already done so, sit down with friends and family and let them know your wishes for health care, DNR, no heroic measure, etc so that if something happens like an unexpected brain bleed, they know what you would want to happen. Get a health care proxy signed and kept some place safe. And don't think "Oh I'm in my 20's or 30's. What's going to happen to me?" Anna Nicole was 39. Car accidents happen. Wierd birth defects long dormant surface. If not for yourself, then for those who love you and will have to deal with too many other things in a time ofhigh stress and crisis.

I['m going to go try to get some sleep and I will update as I can.